


Lovers Game

by Heeyumyum



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Kyuwon - Freeform, M/M, Super Junior - Freeform, Wonkyu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:41:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24460711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heeyumyum/pseuds/Heeyumyum
Summary: Long time lovers arrive at a uninhabited island for a getaway. A tribe manipulate the couple into a game of hunting and killing each other.
Relationships: Choi Siwon/Cho Kyuhyun
Comments: 24
Kudos: 26





	1. Zaroff’s Island

ZAROFF’S ISLAND - MIDNIGHT

He started running.

He did not know what was happening or why any of it was happening. He did not understand, but he still ran. His breath came in short gasps and formed clouds in the air.

He was still running.

Beads formed on his forehead and his palms were clammy as he tightened the grip on the wood-cutting axe in his hand. “You must kill him.” Their voices played like a broken record in his head with no stylus to stop them. He continued running, his feet flew over stones and leaves, his shoes pounded heavily across the ground causing mud to splash up his legs. Darkness surrounded him like a shroud. Fog and mist impaired his vision.

He stopped abruptly.

He dropped his axe and bent forward, hands on his tired knees as he caught his breath. He wiped the sweat off his forehead and proceeded to rub his eyes to regain vision. Bending further down to pick up his axe, he felt a sharp edge slightly digging into the back of his neck. He stopped dead in his tracks and paused for a long minute.

He knew it was him. 

The way his breathing began to hitch, his soft sniffles, and the sound of his feet nervously shifting on the wet ground, it was all familiar to him. His eyes started to well up, and a hot tear drizzled down his cold cheek. A calm washed over him and he finally uttered....”Do it.”


	2. A Turbulent Relationship

THREE DAYS EARLIER

PRIVATE JET - DAY

“There you go, sir.” The stewardess gently placed a glass of some expensive red wine on the marble table where Siwon sat reading an international newspaper.

“Thank you very much.” He thanked the stewardess as he folded the newspaper neatly and tossed it onto the table.

Siwon had never been inside a private jet before and he could not fathom how something as unnecessary as private planes were more homely and welcoming than real homes of real struggling families. He had never imagined a private plane to look something so much like a castle. The interior of the jet is a whopping 2,400 square feet, the same size as the house he had purchased with his boyfriend, only this aircraft was a bit more luxurious. The cabin is lined with rich leathers and fine wood veneers, while its floors are covered with silk carpets and shinning stonework. Four reclining chairs were situated in the middle, Siwon sat on one, while Kyuhyun sat on the other across from him.

“Dr. Younghee just texted, he’s wishing us a good trip.” Kyuhyun said as he looked up from his phone with a slight smile on his face, “he said don’t forget to leave all electronics locked in a safe when you land....says there’s one here on the plane.” He continued. He scanned his surroundings with his eyes for the safety box until he finally spotted it near the mini bar at the back.

“I bet Dr. Younghee sells drugs as a side hustle.” Siwon said as he looked intently upon his glass of wine that was being rotated with his hand before he took a sip.

Kyuhyun was taken aback by the statement. “What’s wrong with you?” He glared at him.

“I mean think about it, he’s a counsellor. He can’t possibly afford a private jet.” He paused for a short second, “and not just that, but his own island?....With a built-in airport?” Siwon questioned while he continued rotating his glass.

“It’s a small airport.” Kyuhyun emphasized.

“I’m just saying, dude is shady.” Siwon continued teasing. He knew Kyuhyun was very fond of Dr. Younghee.

“He’s just good at his job and he gets paid accordingly” Kyuhyun said.

A silent moment had passed which prompted Kyuhyun to take his eyes off his phone screen once more. He looked at Siwon who had a suspicious look on his face.

“What are you sucking his dick now too? Is that why we’re here? On his private jet, vacationing on his private island without getting charged?” Siwon finally said. A sullen look took over Kyuhyun’s visage upon hearing his boyfriend’s words.

“You’re a fucking prick.” Kyuhyun sat up right and slammed his phone on the table, “see this is why we’re still in therapy, because you won’t let this shit go” He said angrily.

In the past five years, Siwon and Kyuhyun had been in a very serious ,and equally as turbulent, relationship. They loved each other deeply, and yet they had little regard to each other’s feelings and deliberately said things to hurt the other. They had never been physically abusive but the jabs they threw at each other had more impact than any punch or kick would. It hadn’t always been like that. The first three years of their relationship had been very stable, they grew more argumentative in the year following it. Kyuhyun got the most brunt of their bickering, and eventually sought help from a therapist to help him deal with stress and manage his anger issues. It worked for a short while, and short it was.

“I didn’t mean to. I was drunk” is what Kyuhyun said when Siwon found out about that night he had engaged in sexual activities with his doctor. Siwon hadn’t been able to put his complete trust in Kyuhyun ever since the skeletons in his closet were revealed. A week later, Siwon packed his bags and moved out of their shared home.

Siwon tried.

He tried to put the cheating past him. He tried with every ounce of love in his body to say “I believe you and I forgive you”. He tried to understand why it happened. He tried to blame himself for it. He tried to be okay with it.

He tired. But he failed.

He would never admit it, but he was still hurt by it. But despite the shattered pieces of his heart, he picked up the phone one day and called him.

“I want to work things out.” He said, “I can’t bring myself to forgive you right now, but I want to. I really want to.”

Kyuhyun, on the other end of the line, said nothing. After all the hurt and pain that he had caused, he did not think he had the right to say anything. He just sat there, listening to the man he loved talk with so much anguish in his voice. His heart ached terribly, but he said nothing. He only sat with his head hanging down and he nodded with every word Siwon uttered as his tears fell silently on the wooden floor.

It was then that they decided to see Dr. Younghee, a relationship counselor, who had succeeded in helping the couple navigate through their hardships. He did not think the two men needed him anymore so for their last therapy session he had decided to lend them his private jet, and spend a weekend at a private island that he owned as part of their process of building a healthy relationship. Three days on an island together. No phones. No distractions. Just each other.

“If you don’t come back from that island looking like fools in love, I’ll resign.” Dr. Younghee had said with a breathy laugh.

Inside the jet, Kyuhyun was still furious with Siwon for throwing an accusation like that at him. “You just won’t let that shit go. After everything. Why would you even say something like this? That’s mean.” Kyuhyun pouted.

Siwon smiled and got up from his seat. He went over to Kyuhyun and started hugging and shaking him vigorously.

“No. Get away from me.” Kyuhyun tried to push him away.

“Kyuuu.” He said in a whiny voice, “I just like seeing you get worked up like that.” Siwon said as he gave Kyuhyun an audible, long and aggressive kiss on his cheek. He tousled his hair before walking to the mini bar for another round of drinks. Kyuhyun picked up the newspaper Siwon had placed earlier on the table and threw it at him “I fucking hate you.” He said with a smile.


	3. Meet Alik & Tano

ZAROFF’S ISLAND - NIGHT

After fifteen long hours, the aircraft finally descended on the runway. When Siwon was told they weren’t going to be using boats to get to the island but a private jet instead, he was under the impression that there was going to be an actual airport.

However, that was not the case.

What he had assumed would be an airport was nothing but a long road that was built in close proximity to the edges of the island, and floated right above the water.

“It’s still quite impressive.” Siwon said to Kyuhyun, who had an identical look of disappointment on his face as the one Siwon was trying to conceal.

Before they got off the plane, Kyuhyun and Siwon followed Dr. Younghee’s instructions by making sure their phones and other gadgets were safely secured inside the safe. They were coming down the jet when they spotted an off-road Jeep Wrangler with two large men in it approaching them.

“Welcome to Zaroff’s island.” One of the men said with a blank look on his face as the other one hurried to the airplane to bring out their luggage. The couple got into the car and less than two minutes later, the Jeep started up the steep and narrow road.

The two island men silently drove the couple to the center of the island. Siwon, who was sitting in the back with Kyuhyun’s head resting on his right shoulder, tried to take in as much of the island as he could but his attempt was unsuccessful. The night was extremely dark and the only thing he was able to see was the road of rocks and overgrown grass the headlights were making visible for him.

Ten minutes had passed and the car finally came to a stop.

“Ok.” The driver said and motioned for them to step out of the car. Kyuhyun and Siwon both complied, and as soon as they got off the car they caught sight of three small tents set up around the dying embers of a dwindling fire and four men covered with tattoos who had menacing looks were crouched near it. The sight made Kyuhyun gulp in fear. He tried to divert his gaze and proceeded to tighten his arm around Siwon’s and stood partially behind him as they walked toward the men. The island men whispered amongst themselves in a foreign language that Siwon couldn’t recognize, it almost sounded like a made up language to him. Siwon greeted the men with a smile in an attempt to break the tension but only received cold glares in return which made him nervous. He turned to Kyuhyun who looked equally as confused.

“Um...Dr. Younghee brought us here.” Siwon said nervously, and in the same moment, one of the four men went inside one of the tents.

No longer than a second, the same man emerged from the tent with two other men, one old and the other a lot younger.

“Oh yes. Hello.” The younger one greeted them in Korean, “Dr. Younghee sent you here? You’re the couple on vacation, is that correct?” He asked as he chewed on an apple.

“Y-yes.” Kyuhyun replied.

“You speak Korean?” Siwon asked curiously. He did not expect anyone on the island to speak in his native tongue. He had worried that the language barrier would make their stay a difficult and a challenging one.

“Ah, yes. Only me though,” he said as he took another bite off his apple, “Which is why I was appointed by The Doctor to be your guide for the next three days you’re going to spend here on Zaroff’s island.” He said excitedly. The older man said something in his language to the younger male, and it sounded as if he was scolding him. He pushed the young man aside and got closer to two men in front of him.

“Alik.” He extended his hand and introduced himself to the couple, “Tano. Him my son.” He said in broken Korean as he pointed to the young man next to him.

Alik was a man in his seventies, and he was the chieftain of the tribe. Siwon figured as much, as he was the only one dressed in a different attire than the rest. However, he had similar features to all the men they had encountered so far on the island, long black hair tied up into a bun, small piercing eyes, and thin lips. The old man had an intimidating aura that demanded respect. His face was long and stern, and he was short but had a tough exterior. He walked around with a long spear in his hand, and always stared off into the distance when he spoke which Kyuhyun found creepy.

Tano, a man in his late twenties and the youngest one on the island, looked dissimilar to everyone there. Siwon found it hard to believe that he was Alik’s biological son. At over six feet and three inches tall, he towered over both Siwon and Kyuhyun. He had a smooth, tanned skin, almond shaped green eyes and full pink lips. His short curly hair had multiple colors, blonde, black, and brown and he never stopped smiling. He looked sweet and carefree but Siwon could sense that he had an edge to him. The cloth that was wrapped around his waist was the same color as the other four men, green, but the pattern on his was different from theirs, and was identical to the pattern on his father’s red ones.

Kyuhyun felt Tano’s eyes on him and when their eyes met, Tano flashed him a sly smile. “Could you please show us to where we’re staying? We’ve had a long flight and we’d like to rest.” Kyuhyun said as he quickly broke eye contact with the man smiling at him.

“Sure.” Tano said and then motioned for them to follow him. Right behind where the tents were set up, there was a huge house with floor-to-ceiling windows that were uncurtained which revealed the interior of the lightly dimmed house. It was situated on top of a small hill and the way up to it was a long line of large white stone steps. As they went up the stairs, Tano was familiarizing them with the island. He started off by telling them how the original name of the island was Skull Island, a name that was given to the island by pirates because it literally was shaped like a skull. When Dr. Younghee purchased the once abandoned island, he renamed it to Zaroff’s island.

“Why Zaroff?” Siwon asked.

“I don’t know, a name of some character in a book that he had read or something.” Tano shrugged.

“By the way, the island is fairly small so you don’t have to worry about getting lost here. We have the stables near the shore,” he paused to count with his fingers, “Yeah three, only three horses there, which is kinda sad but we’re hoping to get more soon, The Doctor promised to bring more horses, right Pops?” He said as he looked over to his father who nodded despite not understanding what his son had asked. “We also have the storage building, it’s right behind your house, there.” He pointed at the building, “Very huge, isn’t it?” He was enthusiastic and Siwon found it endearing. “It’s where we store all the food and water, you know The Doctor provides us with good meat, isn’t that right, Pops?...We also store clothes, weapons...” His voice trailed off when he saw the look of terror on Kyuhyun’s face, “Oh no no, don’t worry it’s just for hunting.” He tried to explain. “We don’t hurt people” He said, “especially people like you.” Siwon did not like the way Tano brought his face closer to Kyuhyun when he said that but he restrained himself from saying anything. These tribesmen probably don’t know what boundaries and personal spaces are, he thought.

Once they reached the top of the hill, Siwon spotted the same car that they were in earlier, they had drove off right after dropping the couple off to get their luggage inside the house.

“Okay.” Tano clapped, “You’re all set. Your luggage is inside and my friends here are gonna be at your beck and call whenever you guys want to go somewhere. They’ll take you inside and show you to your room but really, there are four, maybe five bedrooms in there, feel free to choose whichever one you like.” He patted Siwon on the back, “I’ll see you guys tomorrow for breakfast, 9 sharp. And don’t be late.” He wiggled his finger at them before he took off.

Siwon and Kyuhyun were inside the house, they thanked the two guys for their service before closing the front door. The place looked resoundingly empty, it had white floors, white walls and white ceilings. Minimalist paintings were hung up on the wall, the floor had no carpets, and wires were hanging off the ceiling where a chandelier should be in place.

“It must be hard furnishing a place this big when it’s on an island far away.” Kyuhyun said.

“It’s nice.” Siwon nodded.

“You’re nice.” Kyuhyun replied.

Siwon turned his head back to look at him, his eyebrows were raised and his eyes wide open, puzzled.

“I mean I see it too. It’s not exactly the paradise I promised you. It’s a forest is what it is, a scary forest in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with a disappointing airport and a bunch of scary half naked men running around with weird tattoos and weapons and all.” Kyuhyun said.

There was a genuine soft expression of affection in Siwon’s face as he extended his arm and ran his fingers through Kyuhyun’s soft hair “But Kyu....” He said as he pulled Kyuhyun’s face closer to his, “You’re my paradise.” He said softly and Kyuhyun immediately broke into laughter. “That was cheesy.” He said as he wrapped his arms around Siwon’s neck.

“Oh was it?” Siwon cupped Kyuhyun’s face and kissed his lips. “Mhm.” Kyuhyun replied as he deepened the kiss.


	4. How it All Started

BEACHSIDE - MORNING

Siwon and Kyuhyun arrived on time to have breakfast with the tribe. As they started to approach the men sitting at the table, Tano shot up from his seat and hurriedly grabbed two floral garlands and head wreaths. He proceeded to put the garlands around their necks and positioned the wreaths on their heads.  
“There, that’s better.” said Tano as he brushed away a long strand of hair hovering over Kyuhyun’s eye which prompted extremely uncomfortable Siwon to look away. “Come.” Tano stood between them and hooked both his arms with theirs as he led them to their seats.

A long wooden dining table was situated near the ocean, it was decorated with vases of flowers of all kinds and colors, and platters of fruit were placed between each vase. There were also several bread baskets and three large plates of rice and eggs. Alik was sitting at the head of the table. The couple took their seats on his left while Tano went back to his chair on his father’s right. Alik instantly greeted them with a disarming smile, and Siwon thought he looked less intimidating in the daylight than he did the night before.

Tano ordered two men to serve them their food, they obeyed in a flash and came back with full plates, and put them down on the table. Siwon could not help but notice that Tano was the one calling the shots and giving out orders, not his father, Alik. For the most part, Alik had been extremely quite. Only occasionally would he utter a word or two to his son and the other island men. Still, he had a strange demeanor, Siwon thought.  
“Was it the long years he had spent on this island that drained the life out of him?” He wondered.  
When Siwon looked at him, he only saw a vessel, a body without a soul. Maybe it was his old age, but he almost looked lifeless, and Siwon was not sure if he was even entirely there. He clearly was. Physically, yes. But his mind and spirit wandered off too often.  
“Whoever resided inside that humanly vessel had long gone.” Siwon thought to himself.  
“So how did the two of you meet?” An uninterested Tano asked, his sudden question snapped Siwon out of his own thoughts.  
Siwon looked over at Kyuhyun and chuckled before answering, “it was 5 years ago at a Halloween party, we both came to the thing wearing this ridiculously huge bunny costume. I had the yellow one on, and yours was purple.” Siwon laughed as he looked at Kyuhyun who was nodding and squinting his eyes in embarrassment as if to block his mind from remembering how dumb they looked.  
“I thought he looked cute, so I went over to him thinking that pointing out the matching costumes would be a good opening.” He remembered. 

[FLASHBACK] SEOUL - NIGHT

Siwon made his way through a sea of sexy zombies, mad scientists, drunk super heroes, and other things he couldn’t recognize, to get to that one man sitting alone at the bar in a huge purple bunny suit. It was Halloween night, and Siwon was invited by one of his friends to a party that was taking place at the rooftop of a high end Italian restaurant in Seoul where Kyuhyun worked as a chef. He didn’t think twice before agreeing to go. He loved Halloween. He thought of them as the one night where he could fully let the little kid inside of him come out, he could dress and act in a way he normally wouldn’t and he found a form of happiness in that, “a chemist in a bunny costume, that should do it.” He giggled to himself as he picked out what he was going to wear.

Siwon noticed Kyuhyun the moment he made his entrance, and how could he not when kyuhyun was looking like a large bright purple blob in the middle of a dark room. He stood out like a sore thumb, and it made Siwon giddy. Siwon took his time trying to come up with something to approach Kyuhyun with. He wasn’t really good with words, and when it came to flirting, it was ten times worse. After almost thirty minutes, he finally mustered up the courage to make his move.

“Are you up for some humping?” Siwon said with a laugh while making finger-guns at Kyuhyun as he waited for the younger man to react.  
Kyuhyun nonchalantly turned around and tilted his head as if to check Siwon out, “I don’t know, there’s potential,” Kyuhyun said before taking another gulp of his drink, “come back when I’m on my fourth drink, I would’ve made my mind by then.” He continued, totally letting Siwon’s joke fly over his head.  
“Wha—, no! I— it was a joke,” Siwon said nervously, “because of the bunny costumes...”, Kyuhyun still looked confused, “you know, ‘hump like bunnies’?” Siwon tried to further explain.  
“Oh! Right!” Said Kyuhyun, he looked down at his costume and finally realized what Siwon was trying to do.  
They looked at each other in an awkward silence. It lasted for about five seconds before Siwon broke it, “I’m sorry, let me start over”, he wiped his clammy palm on his furry costume before extending it to Kyuhyun, “I’m Siwon,” he said before adding, “and...you don’t have to hump me.” He said in embarrassment.“I’m Kyuhyun, and I wasn’t joking when I said I would.” Said Kyuhyun boldly as he shook Siwon’s extended hand, with a sly smile on his face.

[END OF FLASHBACK]

“We ended up doing a lot more than just humping that night.” Siwon revealed.  
“How very romantic.” Tano said sarcastically, all the while looking at Kyuhyun. “Very romantic.” Tano was still looking at him. He let go of the piece of bread in his hand before finally taking his eyes off of Kyuhyun.   
Siwon noticed it. It wasn’t like Tano was trying to hide it, so it wasn’t hard to miss. He’s been looking at Kyuhyun a certain way the moment they set foot on the island, and Siwon tried to brush it off in the beginning, but if he was being honest, it was starting to get on his last nerve.  
“Y’know, I once hunted two horny rabbits going at it. Didn’t even let ‘em finish, I just thought ‘what a cool fucking way to die’, right?” Said Tano and before Siwon and Kyuhyun could respond he got up from his seat abruptly. “Let me know when you two are done eating.” He said before walking away from the table.

“Hey, you ok?” Asked Kyuhyun. Siwon hadn’t realize his fists were clenched until Kyuhyun tried to hold his hand.  
“I’m fine.” Said Siwon in a monotonic voice, his eyes followed Tano. He did not trust that man.


	5. Kyuhyun’s Mistake

Tano’s task was to prepare and plan a full weekend of activities that The Doctor had suggested the couple would enjoy. After breakfast, the first thing on the list was to take the couple snorkeling. Neither of them had gone snorkeling before and they both found the experience of seeing colorful rocks, reefs, fish; big and small, and the marine life underwater fun and unique. Siwon quickly got accustomed to it, and Kyuhyun did too but not without complaining about the water being cold. After forty minutes of being in the water, Tano suggested they catch fish for lunch, “since you’re rabbit-friendly and all.” He had joked which earned him an eye-roll from Kyuhyun.

Using spears for the first time, neither Siwon nor Kyuhyun were able to catch anything, Siwon came close once but failed thanks to Kyuhyun who suddenly bumped into him and screamed that something was touching his leg— it was a strand of seaweed. Five minutes later, and Siwon was still laughing.

They set up camp, started a fire and proceeded to grill the fish Tano and his men caught. Siwon and Kyuhyun were given space so they could spend time alone. 

“Are you having fun?” Kyuhyun asked tenderly, his hand reaching out to cup Siwon’s right cheek.

When Dr. Younghee made the offer to them to vacation on his island, Siwon wasn’t sure about it, and if it wasn’t for Kyuhyun who went out of his way to convince Siwon to go, he would’ve turned it down easily. One day on the island and Kyuhyun could still sense Siwon’s uncertainty, and it made him feel bad, and maybe even a little desperate to please Siwon.

“Mhm.” Siwon took Kyuhyun’s hand cupping his face and softly kissed his palm before giving his hand a tight squeeze.

Kyuhyun knew that Siwon was trying his best to make things work between them but he was also aware that he hasn’t fully recovered from what he had done to him in the past. Not even Dr. Younghee was able to help Siwon fully regain his trust in Kyuhyun, it wasn’t surprising for Kyuhyun though, they only had one session per month with Dr. Younghee and they had only seen him for five months, that’s five sessions that Siwon thought were a waste of their money, “Are you really trying to tell me that talking to him five times actually ‘fixed us’? Please!” Siwon had scoffed. “He doesn’t know us, Kyu. He doesn’t care to know us. He can’t fix us. It’s you and me, only WE can fix us.” He had tried to tell him.   
Kyuhyun, while he did agree with Siwon, did not have the energy to deal with all their past issues that came with getting back together. He wanted to start anew, but the two of them were on completely different pages. Even now. Siwon wanted to repair things, but broken things could not be repaired, Kyuhyun had thought. Kyuhyun, on the other hand, wanted to put all the negative feelings, all the bad memories past them. He just wanted Siwon to love him again, to completely and fully love him. He longed to hear those words from him, if only once more but he did think it was possible, and why would he wait for Siwon to utter these words when all Siwon did was remind him of that one mistake he had made. For the rest of his life he knew that being with Siwon was going to be a constant reminder of his darkest moment, the moment he hit rock bottom, the moment he had allowed himself to submerge into the ugliest parts of himself. And he hated Siwon for that. He knew nothing excused cheating but dammit he had his reasons, if only Siwon would listen. Kyuhyun snapped himself out of his thoughts, his brows furrowed as he looked up at Siwon, and suddenly the nerves on his face relaxed and his expression softened.

‘I love him too much to hate him.’ Kyuhyun’s voice echoed in his own head.


	6. Loving Him Was Easy

BEACHSIDE - SAME DAY 

After lunch, Siwon and Kyuhyun went for a walk along the beach to watch the sunset. Side by side, their legs moved in sync, their feet silently left prints on the fine brown sand before they were washed away by the calming waves. Neither of them uttered a word, Kyuhyun quietly observed the sun sinking below the endless ocean, and Siwon, who was not paying much attention to the transforming sky, was taking glances at Kyuhyun every now and again. He watched Kyuhyun as the setting sun casted its rays of light upon him, almost creating a golden outline around his form and a halo through his hair, “he’s as beautiful as the falling leaves in autumn” Siwon noted.

It was hard for Siwon, he jumped back into the relationship without being sure of anything, not even his love for Kyuhyun. It’s only been five months since they got back together, and he could still see the visible wall between the two of them, a wall that Siwon was aware he had built himself in order to protect his heart, but what he had realized was that it was also slowly driving Kyuhyun further away. They hadn’t moved back into living with each other and Kyuhyun barely took initiative, he always waited for Siwon to make plans or even call, Siwon thought the reason he did it was to give him his space and maybe it was a good thing because Siwon needed it. But for how long? He needed Kyuhyun, he knew that much.

He gave Kyuhyun a hard time for his cheating mistake but Siwon also knew that Kyuhyun had his fair share of heartbreak, maybe not in the same way, but he knew that Kyuhyun wasn’t the only one that played a role in their relationship taking a serious hit. He hurt Kyuhyun too and he never apologized for any of it, mostly because Kyuhyun never confronted him about it, but also because he didn’t wanna admit that if it hadn’t been for the way he was with Kyuhyun, then maybe Kyuhyun wouldn’t have sought comfort and solace in the form of another man.

Looking back, he could see the first trail that had led into their strained relationship. It was two years ago, they had already been dating for three years at that point, Siwon, a chemical engineer, was accepted into Yeungnam University’s two-year postdoctorate chemistry program but by the time he was accepted into the program, he had already been having second thoughts about it. He didn’t want to take it as he had feared it would change too much considering they had to move to the city the university was located at for two years, which meant Kyuhyun had to quit his job at the restaurant where he was a very successful chef. Siwon knew from experience that things like that would drive a couple apart, like it did to his parents. One person sacrifices too much and the other one benefits from it, which would lead the former to eventually resent the latter. Despite that, Kyuhyun had insisted that Siwon went for it as it had been something he really had his heart set on, and he didn’t want to be the person to take opportunities away from the one he cared about the most, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity for Siwon, whereas Kyuhyun thought he could be a chef anywhere.

The thing Kyuhyun did not see coming though was that what had happened to Siwon’s parents was exactly happening to them. Kyuhyun struggled finding a job in the new city as almost all restaurant in the small city didn’t require the skill that he had honed all those years ago working as a chef. His specialty wasn’t traditional Korean food and traditional Korean food was all the city had to offer so he settled working at a small pizza and pastry shop, but he wasn’t happy. He was angry, at himself for feeling this way after being the one encouraging Siwon to do it, and at Siwon for not paying attention to him or how he felt because he was too busy. He felt neglected, Siwon didn’t realize it at the time but Kyuhyun started feeling insecure and every little thing Siwon did annoyed him. Siwon, who was oblivious to it all, worked as a constant reminder of Kyuhyun’s failures, and Kyuhyun couldn’t take sitting at the house or even looking at Siwon anymore. With the amount of free time he had, Kyuhyun got to know a lot of people and had befriended their neighbors, he was always out and about with them which did not sit well with Siwon. Siwon pitied Kyuhyun, and his way of encouraging him to go out and find something of worth to do felt like attacks to Kyuhyun, “he think too little of me” Kyuhyun knew that he wasn’t exactly taking the best care of himself but he didn’t think it was fair for Siwon to criticize him the way he always did. Kyuhyun’s depression and anger issues kept getting worse, he was too ashamed to talk to Siwon about it, Siwon on the other hand thought Kyuhyun was just acting out and found him insanely unbearable, and that’s when the arguments started taking place. Kyuhyun knew he had to do something, he knew it was unfair for him to cast all the blame on Siwon. He had warned him that this would happen, “but it won’t happen to us.” Kyuhyun had promised. He was left dealing with feelings, negative feelings. He hated himself, and to him that wasn’t even the worst part, the worst part was hating the man that had become a part of himself. To fix it all, he went to see a therapist to help him deal with how he felt and that’s when he had committed the biggest mistake of his life. Alas, the past could not be altered, trying to put the cheating past him was the hardest thing Siwon had to do.

But this wasn’t hard.

Siwon’s hand interlocked with Kyuhyun’s smaller one as they continued to walk, his eyes still on Kyuhyun as he realized in that moment; loving Kyuhyun was the easiest thing he ever had to do. Whatever happened in the past, and no matter what happens in the future, his love for Kyuhyun would remain unchanged. He just loved him. It was that simple.

“I’m sorry.” Siwon stopped walking, Kyuhyun who was now two steps in front of him quickly turned around, “What?” he said in confusion.

“I know I hurt you in the past...and— I’m sorry for everything I did to you.” Siwon took a step closer to Kyuhyun and trailed his hand from Kyuhyun’s shoulder until it was back to holding his hand. Kyuhyun didn’t know what to say, it wasn’t like he was waiting for Siwon to apologize to him, he thought what his own mistake was so unforgivable that what Siwon did to him fell short in comparison. And even when they got back together, Kyuhyun had little to no faith in the relationship because he himself knew he was still holding some sort of resentment towards Siwon because of what happened before, “but....but now, he’s apologizing....” Kyuhyun’s head was filled with so many thoughts all at once but he was unable to think as Siwon brought his body closer to his. This was familiar. Kyuhyun’s body tingled, the feel of Siwon’s strong frame leaning against his as his arms wrapped around him. Siwon pulled him in, claiming his soft lips, hungry and intense. Kyuhyun felt it. It was Siwon’s love that he was yearning for, he could feel it in the way Siwon was kissing him, the way he was washing over like a warm wave. By the time Kyuhyun became aware of his fingers, they had already slipped under Siwon’s shirt, his skin smooth and radiating heat.

kyuhyun suddenly stopped, breaking away from the kiss. His head hung low.

“What’s wrong?” Siwon slightly crouched down to meet Kyuhyun’s eyes, he felt Kyuhyun tremble when he placed his hand on his shoulder, “Hey, are you okay?”

“I’m okay” Kyuhyun lifted his head, “I— I’m just a little tired,” Kyuhyun shook his head, “it’s been a long day.” He said with a sigh. Genuinely concerned, Siwon wrapped his right arm around Kyuhyun, bringing him closer, “alright I’ll take you back to the house.”


	7. A Woman’s Wail

HOUSE - EVENING

Kyuhyun splashed his face with water, once, twice, and a third time. He roughly washed his face as if he was trying to get dirt off of it. “I’m sorry”, Siwon’s words of apology playing repeatedly in his head, and at the sound of them, he started hyperventilating. A knock on the bathroom door startled him, prompting him to quickly pull himself together. He wiped his tears and took a deep breath before opening the door and meeting Siwon on the other side of it.

“Feeling any better?” Kyuhyun nodded at Siwon’s question, and Siwon continued, “I asked Tano to push horseback riding until tomorrow. We don’t have to do anything until dinnertime.” Siwon went to stand behind Kyuhyun, he tightly squeezed the back of Kyuhyun’s neck with both his hands, making him slightly shiver at the pressure. Kyuhyun felt relaxed as he leaned back into Siwon’s larger frame.

_________________________________

TANO’S CAMP - EVENING

Tano was working to start fire to prepare for the couple’s dinner later that night. He heard the sound of footsteps approaching but didn’t care to look up and see who it was. 

“I know! Your boyfriend already told me,” Tano finally lifted his head, “and— wow you do look like shit.” He rose from his crouching position and dusted himself off. Kyuhyun ignored him as he sat on a large log by the fire.

“Do you have anything to drink?” Asked Kyuhyun, his voice carrying with it a sense of urgency, and his eyes, glazed over with defeat, never left the growing fire.

Tano slowly and very carefully started walking towards Kyuhyun, “No. The Doctor wants to avoid any drunken escapades” Tano sat down next to Kyuhyun, straddling the log between his strong thighs so he was facing him, “I’m sure you know the severity of things like that.” Tano took a cheap shot which earned him a confused glare from Kyuhyun, “Oh I read allll about it...The Doctor keeps some of his clients’ files here, sometimes I like to read them before I tuck myself into bed, y’know it gets dull around here an—” Tano noticed Kyuhyun’s hands were trembling, “What’s the matter?” He looked genuinely concerned.

Kyuhyun clutched his knees but that did little to stop his hands from shaking, the images from earlier invading his mind once again, the voice in his head asking too many questions and giving out zero answers. He did not know what to think or how to feel, but he knew one thing.

“He’s too good.” After a moment of silence, he finally uttered, “This shouldn’t have happened, he’s making it difficult for me to hate him.” Kyuhyun wanted to hate Siwon, not because he felt like Siwon had wronged him, but because it was easier that way.

“Um, page 3, second paragraph, you call him a selfish, greedy, manipulative, and condescending asshole. Don’t you think that’s enough reason to hate him?” Tano tried to persuade.

“No but I said those things out of spite. I wanted him to hurt, the cheating, all of it; I wanted to tear him down just as he tore me down, I wanted him to feel what he had caused me to feel, the anger, the embarrassment, the betrayal.” Kyuhyun’s voice hitched with every word he spoke, “His mistakes were unintentional but mine weren’t. I was deliberately trying to hurt him, so why am I getting an apology?” A tear streamed down Kyuhyun’s cheek leaving a trail.

“H—he apologized?” Tano sat up straight at the revelation.

“For everything.” Kyuhyun added, as he wiped away the fallen tear.

“Huh! A lot of questions must be going through that pretty little head of yours right now. ‘What does this mean? Does he love me again? Is this actually working out? What should I do? Should I stick this out or walk away from it?’, but you can’t walk away from it now can you?” Tano inched closer to Kyuhyun as he grabbed his chin in a bruising grip, eagerly waiting for an answer.

“I— I want out.” Said Kyuhyun, hesitantly.

Without any warning, Tano stood up and furiously kicked a small log into the pile of the burning ones.

ONE HOUR LATER - HOUSE

He lied on the bed drenched in cold sweat, his heart was pounding and his legs were tired, ‘why am I running?’ he asked himself, but he couldn’t stop. His head jerked from side to side, as much as he wanted to wake up, he couldn’t. His breathing became shallow and it continued to pick up. His shirt red, soaked with blood, presumably his own but he wasn’t sure. His eyes started to flutter, he tried with all his might to open them but his eyelids were too heavy to lift. His soft whimpers filled the air closing in on him. He saw a shadowy figure, hand in the air holding a butcher knife. The sharp tool was wielded and it began to repeatedly slaughter an unidentifiable living creature. He tried one last time to wake himself up, and in the same moment he succeeded, the sound of a wailing woman pierced through his ears, and his eyes finally snapped open. Chest heaving and his whole body shivering. The woman’s shriek still ringing in his ear. Paranoid, Siwon got up cautiously as he rubbed his eyes to fully awaken himself. He looked around the room suspiciously. ‘It couldn’t have been real. Tano said there were no women on the island.’ He tried to calm himself. It worked for a minute until he realized that Kyuhyun wasn’t with him. He quickly shot up from the bed, stumbling as he frantically began searching every room in the house, calling out Kyuhyun’s name but got no response in return. Without wasting any second, he hurriedly left the house and headed to where Tano and his men set camp. 

In his hurried state, Siwon forgot to bring a flashlight with him. The night was dark and he was having difficulties navigating through the island. Luckily, he could see the faint light of the fire and he started running towards it, completely disregarding his own safety.

‘He’s okay, he probably just left the house because it was time for dinner’ He didn’t wanna think the worst of this situation, but his brain failed him, ‘But if that was the case then why didn’t he wake you up? He wouldn’t just go out to eat without you. What if something happened to him, what if something bad happened to him.’

He tried to push these thoughts away as he came closer and closer to where he hoped Kyuhyun would be. He could see four men standing around the burning wood, and one man sitting down poking something laid on the grill grate on top of the embers. It was Tano. Siwon’s heart beat started to rise again as he approached the islandmen.

“Where’s Kyuhyun?” He tried to ask calmly.

“Hey! You’re finally up.” Tano continued to poke the large piece of meat laying in front of him, he tossed the wooden stick aside and stood up, his hand reached to grab Siwon’s forearm urging him to sit down, “Come sit—” Siwon yanked his hand away.

“Where’s Kyuhyun?” He asked again, his voice grew more stern and urgent this time. His eyes widened and lips pressed together tightly.

“Relax. They’ll be back soon.” Said Tano, with a slight laugh in his voice.

“They?” Siwon gave him a questioning look.

“Yep! He’s with my father...” He paused, “Hunting. Yes, they went hunting.” He added, “You know my father really values his time with bunnies...” Tano moved closer to Siwon, “They’re his favorite hunt.” He whispered. Siwon didn’t budge, and moved even closer to Tano until their noses touched.

“Are you trying to scare me?” Siwon tried to maintain his cool.

“I don’t know, are you? I mean you’re the one that came out here all accusatory using your big boy voice.” Tano was getting aggravated.

“I think you’re lying to me.” Siwon glared at him and a chuckle is all he got in response.

Tano moved away from Siwon, and went to back to checking on the meat. Siwon made a sudden move which prompted the four other men present to make a wall between him and Tano.

“It’s okay. He’s harmless.” Tano motioned for the islandmen to go back to their original positions, “Sit down.” It was more of an order than an invitation, and fearing for his safety, Siwon complied.

It’s been almost ten minutes and he was getting fearful. He tried to keep his mind busy so he tried to focus on other things. Like the meat. He thought it looked delicious. ‘But wait...’ His brain started overthinking again, ‘That’s a large piece of meat. This doesn’t belong to no small animal. Tano said they only had rabbits to hunt here. And some fish. This is no fish meat.’ Siwon fretted. ‘He did say they keep some meat in the storage room, maybe that’s what it is. Yeah! That’s what it is. Stop thinking nonsense.’ He shook his head. ‘I could just ask.’ He managed to pull himself out of his own head.

“What are you grilling?” Siwon asked, hoping he would get an answer that would put an end to his paranoia.

“You wanna try it?” Tano avoided the question.

“But, what is it?” Siwon asked once more.

“Oh you’ll ruin the element of surprise.” Tano complained.

“I’m not very fond of surprises.” Siwon grew even more anxious.

“Don’t worry, you’ll find the taste of it to be.....very familiar.” Siwon balled both his hands into fists. Tano could see that he was getting under Siwon’s skin, and he found it extremely amusing.

“Eat.” Tano tried to pressure him.

“I’m not eating anything until Kyuhyun gets back.” Siwon refused to do as he was told.

Tano’s visage transformed into a look of grimace. He got up from his wooden seat again and made his way to Siwon, his four men followed suit. He let out a soft chuckle before he grabbed Siwon by his collar and pushed him aggressively into the tree behind him.

“You’re something else.” Tano’s grip loosened as he started to tenderly caress Siwon’s face, “Very tough. I like that. Makes it all the more fun to break you.” He taunted.

Siwon wanted nothing more than to knock him dead right in that moment, but he knew going up against five men, all bigger than him in size, he stood no chance, so he did nothing except squirm to try and break free only to be slammed back into the tree.

“Tsk tsk tsk. You wouldn’t want me to tie you up and shove this meat in your mouth, now do you? That’s no fun.” He said before he brought his full lips closer to Siwon’s ear, “Ok, maybe it would be a liiittle fun.” He said as he nibbled on Siwon’s earlobe. 

Disgusted with the act, Siwon no longer cared about what would happen to him and punched Tano with full force, sending him to the ground.

“S-Siwon...?” Kyuhyun’s voice came from behind him.

Siwon spun around quickly, his eyes scanning Kyuhyun trying to make sure he wasn’t hurt anywhere.

“What was that for?” Kyuhyun asked, looking down at Tano who was struggling to get up. Siwon did not want to be in the same vicinity as Tano or anyone else on this island anymore, he immediately grabbed Kyuhyun by the hand and started walking away.

“Wait, are you gonna tell me what’s going on?—“ Kyuhyun kept getting pulled on by Siwon, “Siwon. Stop!!!” He pulled his arm away so aggressively causing Siwon to almost lose his balance, “Talk to me.” He urged.

“We can’t stay here, we’re leaving.” Siwon said without offering an explanation.

“What? Why?” Kyuhyun asked.

“When I woke and you weren’t there, I thought they—“ Siwon choked on his own words, his eyes started to well with tears, “I have a bad feeling about this place, about that Tano,” He gripped Kyuhyun’s shoulders with his hands bringing him closer, “I just don’t wanna risk you getting hurt,” He pressed his forehead against Kyuhyun, as he squinted his eyes, allowing his tears to fall freely.

“Hey! Hey!,” Kyuhyun looked up at Siwon, cupping his face, “No one is gonna hurt me, okay? Or you.” Kyuhyun’s thumbs gently brushed away his tears, his hand traveled down until they settled on Siwon’s chest. He could feel Siwon’s heart racing like it’s about to burst out of his chest. Siwon wasn’t just scared, he was petrified, and Kyuhyun felt it. He pulled Siwon closer into a reassuring hug, “I won’t let anything happen to you.”. Kyuhyun hugged him until he felt Siwon’s rapid heartbeat settling into a steady rhythm.


	8. Everything About Him was Beautiful

HOUSE - 10:00 PM

The couple entered the house. Siwon, who was still in a state of paranoia, immediately sat down on the seat closest to the door. Kyuhyun quickly made his way into the kitchen and started scavenging for ingredients that would be enough to make a proper meal.

“I’ll make you something.” Kyuhyun said to Siwon. Because of what had happened with Tano earlier, they didn’t get the chance to eat dinner, and Kyuhyun didn’t want Siwon to sleep on an empty stomach.

“What? No! You don’t understand we have to leave right now.” Siwon got up from his seat and then started to pace back and forth.

Kyuhyun stopped what he was doing and went over to Siwon, “How? We don’t have our phones, they’re inside the safe in the jet, we can’t leave unless we talk to Dr. Younghee. They only listen to him.” Kyuhyun explained.

“Ok then let’s go get the phones so we could call him.” Siwon said.

“We can’t. Tano has the keys.” Kyuhyun said and Siwon let out a long sigh as he rubbed his temple.

Kyuhyun could see how distressed Siwon was, and he understood why. Siwon had told him what had happened in detail on their way back and it made his stomach burn on the inside with anger. He agreed with Siwon. He wanted nothing more than to leave in that instance, but it wasn’t that easy. And Tano would certainly not make it any easier.

Kyuhyun took Siwon’s cold, shivery hands and warmed them with his, “Try to relax and I’ll make you something to eat, alright?” Kyuhyun was about to turn around to head back into the kitchen when he felt his arm suddenly get pulled, bringing him back into place.

“What happened to you out there?” Siwon questioned.

“I told you, Alik wanted me to—“ Kyuhyun’s answer was cut short.

“No, that’s not what I’m talking about,” Siwon shook his head, as he loosened the grip on Kyuhyun’s arm. “I meant earlier, when I kissed you,” His voice was soft while he spoke. 

“I...I don’t know” Kyuhyun stuttered, the question taking him by surprise. He averted his eyes to the floor, and ran his hand through his hair.

“You know you touch your hair when you lie, Kyu” Siwon pointed out, “What is it?” He rubbed Kyuhyun on the arm where his grip had been and gave it a gentle squeeze, urging him to speak. Kyuhyun looked up to meet Siwon’s tender gaze, his own eyes misting over at the sight of him. 

“I was scared.” Kyuhyun confessed, his head fell down again as he played with his fingers nervously.

“Scared of what?” Siwon asked. 

“Of you falling in love with me again” Kyuhyun said, his voice barely above a whisper, his eyes felt hot as he tried holding back his tears. The one thing he had yearned for, the thing that he desperately craved, was the thing he feared the most.

“What?” Siwon’s voice trailed off. He was thrown off. He didn’t know where this was coming from. He didn’t understand. ‘Wasn’t that the point of us getting back together?’ He asked himself, not daring to ask Kyuhyun the same question.

“I put you through so much, the things that I did to you, the things I kept doing and will keep doing to hurt you, it’s inevitable, you know it is. At one point or another, I’m going to make a huge mistake and you’ll end up hating me for it,” He softly sniffled as his tears fell down his cheeks one after the other.

“Going through it once was painful enough, I don’t think I have the heart to endure it again.” His voice wavered, the words he spoke barely audible.

“I never hated you, Kyuhyun,” Siwon assured Kyuhyun, but Kyuhyun didn’t respond well to his claim as he patted away Siwon’s hand that was reaching out to caress his hair.

“You’re lying” He uttered these words but he knew Siwon wasn’t lying. He didn’t know it before but the tremble in Siwon’s voice, the way his brows scrunched together, a result of previously being deep in thought, ‘he tried but he couldn’t.’ Kyuhyun realized.

“I never did. No matter what you do I could never hate you.” Siwon’s voice was more assertive this time.

“Stop it.” Kyuhyun didn’t want to believe it. He deliberately tried to inflict emotional pain on Siwon, that alone was bad enough, but to learn that he did all of it to someone who loved him, who has always loved him.

“I lov—“ Siwon almost declared.

“Don’t....say it.” Kyuhyun’s palm covered Siwon’s mouth.

“But I do” Siwon said as he removed Kyuhyun’s hand, his voice was low and sincere.

Kyuhyun saw a familiar warmth briefly flicker in Siwon’s eyes before they darkened, his gaze suddenly intense. Kyuhyun felt Siwon’s hand on the back of his head and before he knew it, he was fiercely pulled in, their lips smashing together in a heated kiss.Subconsciously, their eyes fluttered shut. Siwon placed his free hand on Kyuhyun’s waist, drawing him closer. Kyuhyun’s arms draped over Siwon’s broad shoulders as he felt a tingling sensation travel down his spine at the warm embrace. Siwon didn’t say it, but Kyuhyun could feel it, just as he felt it when Siwon kissed him on the beach, but this time, when Siwon kissed him it was more desperate, it was needy and sloppy, yet deep and passionate, awakening all of Kyuhyun’s senses. He could only focus on how soft Siwon felt against his mouth, the warm feeling of his breath every time he came back for air. Kyuhyun kissed him back just as intensely. He hungrily pushed back, forcing his tongue into Siwon’s mouth as he gripped his head firmly. In one swift motion, Siwon lifted Kyuhyun up by his thighs and carried him to their bed, his legs wrapped around Siwon’s waist tightly. Siwon placed him carefully on the bed. They didn’t waste any time before their hands started grabbing at clothes, clawing desperately to undress each other. Both completely naked on the bed, Kyuhyun’s skin was sensitive everywhere; he felt everything. The smooth texture of the sheets against his back, the pressure of Siwon’s hand on his knee as he pushed his legs open, Siwon’s breath on his neck before he kissed him there as he took his time sucking on it gently. Kyuhyun jerked and a soft, but audible, moan escaped him when Siwon tugged a little harder at Kyuhyun’s skin with his mouth. Kyuhyun pushed himself up, and on his knees he lowered himself until he was facing Siwon’s cock.

“let me take care of you.” Kyuhyun said before he engulfed half of Siwon’s cock in his mouth, going up and down as best as he could.

“Y-yeah..” Siwon panted, his eyes closing in utter bliss. Siwon’s fingers ran through Kyuhyun’s hair several times, pushing it all back to reveal his entire face before he tugged at it gently. He couldn’t fathom how anyone could look so beautiful sucking a dick, but Kyuhyun looked beautiful like this. His hollowed cheeks flushed, the way his half-lidded eyes looked up at him, his soft hair moved every time he bobbed his head, his long pale fingers wrapped around the rest of Siwon’s cock and the noises he made vibrated around it sending shivers down Siwon’s spine. Everything about him was so beautiful. Kyuhyun started stoking the part of Siwon’s cock that wasn’t in his mouth, his grip tight and strong, a little too strong, but he knew that’s the way Siwon liked it.

“Fuck...Keep going, this feels good...” Kyuhyun hummed along Siwon’s shaft in response, letting out occasional whines of pleasure. He continued to suck as if his life depended on it, he so desperately wanted to please Siwon, and judging by the way Siwon started circulating his hips, he was succeeding. Kyuhyun’s tongue wildly swirled around Siwon’s cock, dipping into his slit repeatedly.

“Ah, I’m gonna come,” Siwon moaned at the new sensation. Kyuhyun was persistent and sucked even harder, sending Siwon to the edge.

“I—Uh, I-I’m close....Shit.” With a groan, Siwon came inside Kyuhyun’s mouth, tugging a few strands of his hair. Kyuhyun moaned at the salty release pooling on his tongue. Moving back up, Kyuhyun hooked two fingers inside Siwon’s mouth, opening it up, before he brought his full mouth closer, discharging everything in it into Siwon’s, making him taste and swallow his own fluid. Kyuhyun thought he could come just by the sight of that.

Siwon suddenly turned Kyuhyun around. “Now it’s my turn to make you feel good.” Siwon whispered, his hot breath on Kyuhyun’s ear, making Kyuhyun quiver. Siwon placed his hand on Kyuhyun’s back, pushing him down until his forearms were resting flat on the bed.

“Oh god.” Kyuhyun moaned when Siwon’s large hands caressed his ass, giving each cheek a few light smacks before parting them. Kyuhyun gripped the sheets and squeaked when he felt a wet tongue licking on his rim without warning, sucking it hungrily. As a reflex, Kyuhyun pushed his ass against Siwon’s face, allowing Siwon’s tongue to go past his hole, opening it a little bit. Along with his tongue, Siwon added a finger, then another, until there were four of them inside Kyuhyun, working him open. Siwon knew Kyuhyun was ready when the younger handed him a bottle of lube.

“Fuck me.” He begged and Siwon immediately complied. Kyuhyun felt the cold liquid dripping down his inner thighs, and a short minute after, the tip of Siwon’s cock poked at his entrance, and Kyuhyun whined in response. As soon as Siwon penetrated him, he started thrusting without stopping, not allowing Kyuhyun to adjust. He cried out, the stretch almost unbearable, but he loved it.

Pain. Pleasure. Love. To Kyuhyun, those three words were synonymous. He craved to be split open. He wanted it to hurt, he needed it to hurt, because that was the only he was able to feel it, to feel Siwon’s love for him.

‘I love you’ He was so close to saying it. Siwon loved him, and now Kyuhyun knew he did, and as much as it scared him, he was reveling in it. He wanted to hear them coming out of Siwon’s mouth but he couldn’t. Not yet.

Kyuhyun’s body seemed to adapt quickly to the massive intrusion. Little moans escaped Kyuhyun’s swollen lips, and the more Siwon increased the pace, the louder Kyuhyun got.

“There, fuck...yeah...yeah...r-right there.” He gasped when Siwon’s hand crept up from under him, pulling him up, pressing Kyuhyun’s back against his chest. Kyuhyun let out a strangled moan as Siwon pressed his hand against his neck, chocking him lightly, prompting Kyuhyun to throw his head back to give more exposure to his neck. Siwon’s mouth latched at the side of Kyuhyun’s neck, Siwon knew the spot. Kyuhyun cried out, his voice going up an octave when Siwon’s tips brushed up against his prostrate, his back arched beautifully from Siwon’s chest, his pale body secured in the bigger man’s hold as Siwon started to stoke Kyuhyun’s neglected cock. Kyuhyun couldn’t endure it anymore, the choking, Siwon’s tongue sucking on his sensitive spot, Siwon’s hand on his leaking cock, Siwon going deeper and deeper inside of him, he was overstimulated.

“Ah...ah...don’t stop...don’t stop...I’m close...” Knowing his boyfriend’s insides well, Siwon made one maneuver, and started thrusting hard and fast, hitting Kyuhyun’s prostrate with each thrust. Kyuhyun frantically started grabbing at Siwon, trying to find something to hold on to as he was getting closer and closer to his climax. He clung tightly onto Siwon’s arm across his chest which was holding him in place. Siwon tightened the grip when kyuhyun let out a faint scream as he finally reached his climax. He threw his head back as Siwon continued to fuck his limb body. Siwon buried his head in Kyuhyun’s hair, taking a whiff of the sweat drenching it. Siwon came inside Kyuhyun, filling him up nicely. He stayed like that for a while, waiting for his climax to go down before he pulled out.

They both collapse on the bed, exhausted. Siwon couldn’t remember the last time he had actually felt present making love to Kyuhyun, and Kyuhyun shared the same sentiment. When they started having problems, and when they decided to get back together, they had sex because they felt obligated to fulfill each other’s sexual desires. Tonight was different. Tonight they wanted to taste every part of each other, every touch was electrifying, when they kissed, it felt intimate, it felt right. They were the same people that used to have sex, physically and anatomically, nothing has changed, and yet, everything seemed to fit perfectly. 

They were on the bed facing each other, Siwon pulled Kyuhyun into a tight embrace, hugging him, he opened his mouth to say something, but got interrupted before doing so.

“Don’t. Say it to me when we get back.” Kyuhyun said before resting his head on Siwon’s glistening chest.


	9. A Scrapbook

HOUSE - 11:00 PM

Steam followed Siwon as he came out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist and a smaller one hung loosely around his neck to prevent the water that soaked his hair from dripping down his back. He had a pack of cigars in his hand, he wiggled it at kyuhyun as soon as he came out.

“Can you believe this? I found it smashes inside the cabinet. Wanna smoke one with me?” He raised his eyebrows at Kyuhyun.

“Maybe later,” Kyuhyun got up from the bed and gave Siwon a quick peck on the cheek before heading towards the steamy bathroom, “You better not have used up all the hot water.” He playfully threatened before disappearing into the steam.

Kyuhyun was taking too long so Siwon decided to fire up one of the cigars on his own. He dressed warmly before he headed outside, the last thing he wanted to do was stink up the place with smoke. He used a cutter to slice off the cap of the cigar and afterwards pulled out a lighter, flicked it a few times, but it wasn’t working. He cursed under his breath and as he turned around to go back inside, he saw someone standing in the bushes, barely hidden.

It was Alik.

He was just standing there. With a blank look on his face. Staring. Despite being creeped out, Siwon approached him and asked, “A-Alik, what are you doing here?” Siwon knew Alik didn’t speak Korean so he spoke slowly, using a lot of hand gestures. Alik didn’t respond with words but he turned his head to the left as if to show something to Siwon. Siwon didn’t know what he was looking at, there was nothing there except trees and overgrown bushes, and at the far back, behind everything, he knew that’s where the main beach was.

“Tano.” Alik spoke.

“Tano?” Siwon tried to look harder but still couldn’t see anything, but he heard something. He could hear the sound of the tribe cheering and hollering, and it came from the beach. Without saying another word, Alik walked away, his spear thumping alongside him with every step he took. Siwon wasn’t sure why Alik was here to tell him this, was he was purposely alluding to Siwon that the tribes’ campsite was unguarded? that Tano’s tent, where he kept all his possessions and most probably the key to the safe that Siwon needed in order to leave, was unguarded? Siwon could slip in and out and nobody would notice. It was tempting. Very tempting. ‘Or could this be a trap?’ The thought had crossed his mind but he quickly pushed it aside. He knew Tano would never hand them the key, even if the asked nicely. This was their only chance in getting their hands on that key and, trap or not, he was going to take it.

CAMPSITE - 11:15

Siwon treaded warily until he was at the site. He continued to walk until he was inches away from Tano’s tent, he knew this was the one, he saw Tano emerge from it the first time they had met, but also because it was the only one that looked like an army tent. It was huge and was surrounded by other regular and smaller tents which belonged to his men. Siwon checked his surroundings and without hesitation, he quickly went inside. He was struck with how neat and clean everything looked inside, and how....normal everything about it was. Tano was a creepy man. Siwon’s skin crawled just at the mention of his name. This wasn’t his first impression of Tano though but the more they interacted, Tano grew more intense, and Siwon expected the place where Tano laid his head at night would be a reflection of that, but to his surprise, it wasn’t.

Siwon started his search. He was thorough and quick, maybe too quick, so he decided to search again and then one more time after that, but he found nothing. He looked in every cabinet, every drawer, looked under Tano’s bed, under the sheets and pillows, the table, and under the small rug that he had laid in the center of the place. And still nothing. He sat on Tano’s bed and scanned the room once more with his eyes until he noticed a book placed on top of one of the cabinets, pushed to the far back. He got up and tipped on his toes to grab it. Siwon opened the book and immediately knew what it was. It was a scrapbook. The first couple of pages of the book were missing, they were torn off, some pages were sticking together and Siwon found it difficult to separate them when he tried. As he turned the pages of the book, he saw pictures that Tano had glued on the paper with his commentary on them. They were just regular pictures, exactly what you would expect from a person living on an island, pictures of him and the three horses, who he referred to on the book as Lola, Boots, and Lazarus. A picture with him and Dr. Younghee from three years ago, pictures of him climbing trees and hunting. Siwon never saw any cameras around and none of the tribesmen seemed to be tech savvy so he figured those pictures must have been taken by Dr. Younghee whenever he visited. Siwon turned yet another page, and was weirded out by a photo of a random couple, a man hugging a pregnant woman which had no commentary on it and a big “X” drawn across it. ‘They were probably visitors that Tano didn’t like.” He thought, it wouldn’t surprise him that Tano would do something like that. He continued to go through the book and what he saw on the next page made him gasp and drop the book in fear. The pages were filled with human nails and teeth, all taped on the paper with dates on them.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” He could feel his heart starting to race, and his chest tightened as he tried everything in his power to breathe properly. Siwon had his suspicions about this island but this scrapbook, those pages, they were all confirming those same suspicions. He knew Kyuhyun was already on board with him about leaving but he knew if he showed this to him, they’d have to leave immediately. Siwon carefully picked up the book again, and as soon as he dusted it off, something inside the book fell onto the ground which rendered Siwon motionless. Siwon felt his heart push against his ribcage. His palms started to sweat and his limbs went numb. He felt a knot twisting in his stomach as he tried to process everything but his brain couldn’t take any of this in. With his shivery and clammy palms, he picked up what was on the ground to inspect it. To make sure it was exactly what he thought it was. 

“No.” He whispered as tears streamed down his cheeks.


	10. Let’s Drink

HOUSE - 11:30 PM

Siwon was back in the house, his thoughts were all jumbled up, and his mind was thinking a hundred thoughts per second. He had to leave the tent immediately as he heard the sound of footsteps drawing closer. He left Tano’s scrapbook in its original place and only took one thing with him. Safely inside the house, he took the inanimate object out of his pocket and looked at it again, his heart dropping every time he did, but that wasn’t the worst part. It was the note. The note that Tano had attached to it. The things that he had written on it, Siwon didn’t want to believe. He was in a state of denial but at the same time he knew what this thing in his hand was. He was sure of it. He just knew. It was unmistakable because he bought it himself.

He could hear the water running which meant Kyuhyun was still in the shower. He grabbed two glasses from the kitchen and a bottle of this cheap drink they had lying around before heading towards their bedroom. With a deep sigh, he sat on the edge of the bed, staring blankly at the wall in front of him as he waited for Kyuhyun to come out.

Less than ten minutes later, Kyuhyun came out of the bathroom dressed in a white tee and black boxer briefs, using his towel to dry off his hair. He jumped when he saw Siwon.

“Whoa, you scared me.” Kyuhyun paused for a second before he resumed drying off his hair. Siwon didn’t react to Kyuhyun. Without looking at him, Siwon grabbed the bottle he had placed on the table earlier and proceeded to open the cap.

“Let’s drink.” He invited, his eyes still on the bottle, avoiding eye contact with Kyuhyun. 

“What happened to smoking cigars?” Kyuhyun tossed his towel and took the bottle out of Siwon’s hand to study it.

“Lighter doesn’t work.” Siwon explained.

“We could use the matches in the kitchen.” Kyuhyun suggested, as he continued to read what’s on the the bottle.

“I don’t feel like smoking anymore. Drink?” Siwon got up from his seating position and snatched the bottle from Kyuhyun.

“I mean this is no good but I’ll have a glass.” Kyuhyun took a seat at the small round table they had in their room as he watched Siwon fill their glasses to the brink.

Siwon handed Kyuhyun his drink before taking a seat across from him. Kyuhyun noticed the sudden change in Siwon, however he didn’t think much of it. It was late and he figured after the long day they’ve had, he must have been exhausted.

“This tastes terrible— Why are you looking at me like that?” Kyuhyun asked with a nervous chuckle. Siwon didn’t take one sip out of his drink, he only played with his glass, rotating it in his hand as he stared at Kyuhyun.

“Just....thinking.” Siwon’s gaze lingered which made Kyuhyun even more nervous.

“About what?” Kyuhyun asked.

“About why we came here.” Siwon’s voice was almost robotic, and Kyuhyun found that alarming. Siwon usually spoke in that tone when he was either angry or upset and Kyuhyun wasn’t sure why Siwon would be either in this situation. To Kyuhyun’s knowledge, they had just made love, what does Siwon have to be mad about?

“You know why.” Kyuhyun took another sip of his drink.

“No. I only know what you told me.” Siwon sat back on his chair, crossing his arms.

“What?” Kyuhyun gulped.

“I think you lied to me, Kyuhyun.” Siwon gritted his teeth. When he was in Tano’s tent, he only felt fear. The only thing he felt now was rage.

“Lied to you?” Kyuhyun stuttered.

“You wanted to come here to ‘save’ us, that’s what you said, but you weren’t talking about me and you ‘us’, were you?” Siwon asked rhetorically. He didn’t want Kyuhyun to answer because he already knew, “Tell me I’m wrong.” Siwon dared.

“You are.” Kyuhyun stood up angrily, turning his back to Siwon and just as he was about to storm out, Siwon spoke and he froze.

“The man I met in Seoul, who came back home with me, who promised to save me. The man that I love.” Siwon read the note Tano had written before he threw the object on the table which made a little noise that prompted Kyuhyun to face Siwon again. Kyuhyun’s eyes widened at what he saw. 

“You told me you lost this.” Siwon was now up from his chair, he picked up the bracelet and started walking towards Kyuhyun. Siwon had given the bracelet to Kyuhyun as a gift for their one year anniversary and Kyuhyun had been wearing it everyday until the two of them broke up. When they got back together, Siwon had asked Kyuhyun about it when he saw it missing from his wrist. “It was getting loose and it must’ve slipped off my wrist without me knowing.” Kyuhyun had explained. But he didn’t lose it. It was here. It has always been here. Inside of Tano’s scrapbook and Siwon never felt more betrayed in his life.

Kyuhyun was internally panicking. He knew he was done for. He knew no matter what he said right now, it would sound like one big fat lie, so he said nothing, his chest was visibly rising and falling and his breathing became shallow.

“You’ve been here before haven’t you?” Siwon wanted Kyuhyun to say it. To confess to it. Because up until that moment, Siwon refused to believe that Kyuhyun would do this to him. That he would lie to him, not just about previously being here but about everything he had told him in the past five month. An hour ago he thought he loved Kyuhyun, but right now, he couldn’t recognize him.

“Just fucking tell me the truth for once.” Siwon’s voice was firm yet soft. He was angry yet extremely hurt. And as much as he hated Kyuhyun in that moment, he hated himself twice as much for not picking up on the signs sooner.

“I’m sorry” Kyuhyun couldn’t bring himself to actually say that he had been there before, that whatever Siwon had uncovered about him, Tano, and this island was all true. He couldn’t lie to him anymore but he was too ashamed, too regretful, and too apologetic to admit any of it.

“Fuck! Kyuhyun!” With his right hand, Siwon fiercely slammed the wall behind Kyuhyun, making him flinch. He grabbed by his collar and pushed him back into the wall, “Why am I here Kyuhyun?” Siwon’s voice wavered as he asked. He was scared before, but before he had Kyuhyun, and he didn’t anymore and that frightened him. He was going to die here alone.

“Are they going to kill me?” Siwon’s grip on the fabric tightened, making Kyuhyun wince in pain.

“I won’t let them.” Kyuhyun tried to assure him.

“Kyuhyun, YOU brought me to them.” Siwon slammed Kyuhyun into the wall forcibly again. 

“Please...” Kyuhyun cried out, his hands on Siwon’s balled up fists as he tired to loosen his grip so he would have more room to breathe.

“I love you...” Tears leaked from the corners of Kyuhyun’s eyes. He didn’t know what else to say.

“You lov—” Siwon let out a mocking laugh as he let go of Kyuhyun only to have his hand curl into a fist again and just as he was about to swing at Kyuhyun, he fell into the ground. A wave of dizziness hit him and his ears rang as he felt a warm gush of liquid leak out of the back of his head. The last face Siwon saw before his vision went dark was Tano’s who stood tall over his unconscious body.


	11. It’s Game Time

MIDNIGHT

Rhythmic drops of water fell on the hard concrete floor of the dark room where Siwon had been dragged into. He was tied up to a chair where a single lightbulb hung above him, shinning its faint light upon him as he started to regain consciousness. It took him a minute to realize that he wasn’t waking up in his bed, but in this tight space unfamiliar to him. He felt all his senses coming back to him all at once, first his hearing, even thought there was nothing that could be heard except for the water drops echoing through the room, then the dimness of his vision started to recede around the edges as it came into focus again. Finally his self-awareness started to kick in despite still feeling quite disoriented as he tried to piece together what had happened and how he ended up here. Just as his brain was going through a reboot, he jumped as the door bursted open and only then did he fully recover consciousness. Tano entered the room holding up a chair in one hand, and an apple in the other, and two men accompanying him.

“Hmm.” He took a bite off his apple as he placed his chair backwards in front of Siwon. He straddled the chair and leaned forward, resting his elbows and forearms on the back of it.

“You went through my stuff.” He took an even bigger bite before tossing his apple away, “I feel so violated.” He added as he covered his chest with both his hands.

“Where’s...Kyuhyun?” Siwon could barely speak.

“I think you know by now I don’t intend to hurt him.” Tano rocked his chair forward, giving Siwon a coy smile.

“What are you going to do with me?” Siwon tried to keep a cool and a collected frame but his respiratory system failed him. He tried to control his breathing as adrenaline pumped into his veins but he was too scared, “are you going to kill me?” He inhaled slowly but unsteadily.

“Oh no, no, no. That’s against the rules.” Tano said vaguely.

“Rules?” Siwon repeated.

“See, if I lay a finger on you, I lose one.” Tano continued, completely ignoring Siwon, “He doesn’t allow us to play. We’re only spectators.” Tano got up from his chair and moved to stand behind Siwon, “But you,” He squeezed Siwon’s shoulders in a tight grip, “You get to have all the fun.” He leaned forward until his words fell directly on Siwon’s ear.

“I—I don’t understand.” Siwon tried to make sense of what Tano was saying but he was unable to, everything was just too vague. Siwon waited for Tano to explain but that never came. Instead, Tano went back to his chair and he sat down and pondered for a minute.

“You know when I met Kyuhyun he was so broken,” Tano finally uttered, “He was so vulnerable, so easy to take advantage of,” Siwon shifted in his chair, he felt a stinging needle poking at his heart with every word Tano spoke. He still hadn’t wrapped his head around the fact that Tano felt things for Kyuhyun, and Kyuhyun most probably did too. Yet, Tano was here walking him through it, and it was harder than he had imagined. He wasn’t ready to hear it. He didn’t think he would ever be.

“I said one word to him and he latched on. He shuddered with every touch, like he had been deprived of intimacy, of love. And...” Tano paused to let a chuckle escape, “When I fucked him, he cried.” Tano provoked as Siwon started to aggressively pull on the chains restraining him, trying to break free, but Tano remained unfazed.

“But he kept talking about you, about how much he hated you, but I knew what it was,” Tano rose up from his chair and crouched down in front of Siwon, bringing his face closer to his, and his tone of voice suddenly changed into that of a darker one.

“I wasn’t gonna let you take him away from me.” Tano asserted.

Siwon and Kyuhyun’s relationship had just ended when Kyuhyun met Tano. It was exactly one week after their break up, and on that same day, Tano had been in Seoul. Dr. Younghee would often bring Tano with him to get some supplies to take back to the island, like medicine, food, hygiene products, etc. One night, Kyuhyun was roaming the streets of Seoul drunk, and had randomly entered a pharmacy, which coincidentally, Tano was shopping at. Tano rarely encountered intoxicated people as he had only frequented pharmacies and supermarkets, the only other place he had seen was Dr. Younghee’s house and he was almost never drunk. Tano was fascinated by it and found it amusing how a mere drink would do that to a person. He approached Kyuhyun that night. 

“Are you drunk?” He had asked and Kyuhyun shushed him and then nodded in response.

“What’s it like?” Tano had asked, almost as curious as a child.

“Wait, you—you never drank before?” Kyuhyun had stammered and Tano shook his head no.

Kyuhyun had taken him back to his apartment on that same night. “I’m gonna get you drunk.” He had promised and he did. The more alcohol they consumed, the faster their clothes started to come off. Kyuhyun had initiated everything, the drinking, the kiss, the coming off of the clothes. He hadn’t stopped thinking about Siwon for a whole week but right in that moment he had. Or he thought he had, because the moment Tano had laid him on the bed, pressed his body against his, and started to unknowingly mimic Siwon’s movement, Kyuhyun could no longer hold back his tears.

“We don’t have to.” Tano was understanding. Kyuhyun had talked for hours with him until the wee hours of the next morning. That was when Tano had suggested Kyuhyun went back with him to the island. Kyuhyun wasn’t sure at first, but everything in Seoul reminded him of Siwon and he wanted to get away so after giving it serious thought, he agreed.

On the island, Tano was a different person, Kyuhyun had thought, but not in a bad way. He had thought what they had was the rawest form of love. Even in the way they fucked. It was raw and animalistic. Tano would rough up Kyuhyun on the beach, in the barn amongst horses and chickens, in the bushes near the campsite, not caring that the other tribesmen were watching. He was wild. He was free. He was present. All the time. He made everything about Kyuhyun. He cared about Kyuhyun’s happiness before his own. He was everything Siwon wasn’t. And yet, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Siwon in the three months he had spent with Tano, and then that phone call from Siwon came. He hadn’t told Tano about it, but Tano knew. What Kyuhyun didn’t know about Tano though was that he was a master manipulator.

[FLASHBACK] - ZAROFF’S ISLAND

Tano laid his head on Kyuhyun’s lap as the latter played with Tano’s multicolored hair, he ran his fingers through it, looking at it intently.

“I think you might be of European descent.” Kyuhyun blurted.

“European?” Tano repeated.

“It’s a continent.” Kyuhyun clarified as he resumed to caress Tano’s hair.

“You just look different than the others, and nothing like your father.” Kyuhyun pointed out.

“Alik isn’t my father.” Tano sat up and ruffled his own hair,“they only say he is because he’s supposedly the last man that’s been inside my mother.” He shrugged.

“He couldn’t confirm?” Kyuhyun asked.

“Who? Alik?” Tano laughed, “No, Alik’s brain is so fried, he doesn’t remember shit.” He leaned closer to Kyuhyun as if he was trying to tell him a secret, “it’s because of all those years he’s spent on the chair.” He whispered.

“Chair?” Kyuhyun asked, and Tano shook his body as if he was having a seizure and made a buzzing sound in response before quickly changing the subject.

“I want to leave this island. Forever.” Tano randomly stated, “I have good memories now. I have memories with you...I-I don’t wanna forget.”

“Then let’s go back to Seoul.” Kyuhyun suggested.

“I can’t leave,” Tano stressed, “Unless....” He paused, “Do you love me?” Tano asked.

“I do. I love you.” Kyuhyun said, gently squeezing Tano’s hand for reassurance.

“There’s only one way for me to get out of here, and only you could help me,” Tano said, “Would you fight for me?” Tano asked.

“I would.” Kyuhyun promised. “I know he called you.” Tano said referring to Siwon.

[END OF FLASHBACK]

“You see Siwon, no one gets to leave this island. No one.” Tano emphasized and Siwon could see something in his eyes, was it frustration? A hint of defeat?

“But there’s a game.” Tano traced his finger on Siwon’s chest, “You either kill or get killed.” He continued, “and in order for you to win,” He circulated his finger, “You must kill him.” He said sinisterly.

“I’m not going to kill Kyuhyun.” Siwon refused.

“And why not? He brought you here to kill you himself.” Tano revealed.

“That’s not true.” Siwon refused to believe that Kyuhyun would have it in him to kill Siwon himself. He knew it was just as bad to have somebody else do it but he was still in disbelief.

“Oh but it is.” Tano said, “He’s doing it for me.” He added. That was the last thing he said before one of his men entered with a nod.

Tano turned back to Siwon with a wide grin on his face,

“It’s game time.”


	12. The Beginning of the End

FIVE HOURS EARLIER

“But you can’t run away from it now, can you?” Tano inched closer to Kyuhyun as he grabbed his chin in a bruising grip, eagerly waiting for an answer.

“I— I want out.” Said Kyuhyun, hesitantly.

Without any warning, Tano stood up and furiously kicked a small log into the pile of the burning ones.

“You want out?” Tano raised his voice, both his fists clutched, “are you kidding me? This isn’t something that you could just easily get yourself out of, Kyuhyun. We made a deal.” Tano shouted.

“I wasn’t of sound mind when I did, you know that. I can’t do this to him. I can’t kill him. I love him.” Kyuhyun confessed.

“No, you love me.” Tano’s reminded.

“I don’t think I ever did, Tano. It’s him. I love him. It’s always been Siwon.”

“But I loved you...” Tano’s voice cracked.

“No, you love that I could do things for you, you love me because I’m your only way out of here. I was damaged and hurt and you saw an opportunity and you capitalized on it. I won’t let you lure me into participating in any more of your sick games so that you could benefit. I won’t kill him. Not for you, or anyone else.” Kyuhyun stated.

“You can’t do this to me.” Tano growled.

“What am I doing to you?” Kyuhyun knew Tano wanted so badly to leave the island but he only had to options, either get Tano out of the island, or save Siwon’s life. And he had already made his decision.

“You haven’t got a clue about what goes on here. You don’t know this island the same way I do. You have no idea how bad it is to—“

“Well, you’ve made it this far. You’ll survive.” Kyuhyun interrupted.

“You fucking asshole.” Tano tackled Kyuhyun. A yelp escaped Kyuhyun’s lips when he fell into the ground. As Tano tried to hold him down, Kyuhyun tried to kick himself free, but Tano was bigger and stronger so his attempt was unsuccessful.

“It’s so easy for you, huh? To love and unlove just like that. Has it always been that easy for you?” Kyuhyun squirmed which prompted Tano to forcibly pin him to the ground, “You said you loved me, but I guess I wasn’t the only one in this for personal gain, you wanted this just as much as I did. No, you needed this, because it made you feel good and now that it doesn’t anymore, you just simply want out. No. I won’t let that happen. You’re not leaving without me.” Tano threatened.

“You can’t stop me, Tano. You can’t kill me, remember?” Kyuhyun smirked. 

“I don’t have to.” Tano chuckled, “This isn’t just about me anymore. He wants to see the hunting game and he always, always, gets what he wants. Your little rebellious act won’t help you, Kyuhyun. One of you has to die, and it can’t be you, do you hear me?” Tano slammed Kyuhyun into the ground again.

“I won’t kill him.” Kyuhyun snarled at Tano.

Tano grabbed the nearest log and tried to swing at Kyuhyun with it but was stopped by Alik.

“Kyuhyun, come with me. I need help with something.” Alik said in his language which Kyuhyun understood. He pushed Tano aside and offered his hand to Kyuhyun to help him up, “Control yourself.” Alik said to Tano before leaving with Kyuhyun.

PRESENT TIME - MIDNIGHT

“No. Please. I can’t do it. I— Don’t make me do this. Don’t make me do this.” Kyuhyun spoke those words as if he was chanting a mantra. He was crying and his face was wet, but he didn’t know whether it was his tears or the drops of the heavy rain descending upon him.

“We’ll all be here, watching. I’ll be right here.” Tano grabbed Kyuhyun’s face and planted a kiss on his lips which the other didn’t return, his grip on Kyuhyun’s face tightened indicating that he was getting frustrated, and maybe a bit enraged. He aggressively pushed Kyuhyun’s face making him stumble backwards, “Now go finish this.”

Kyuhyun walked around in circles as he muttered to himself, “I can’t do it. I can’t do it.”, over and over again. His whole body trembled, partly because of the pouring rain and the occasional whiff of cold wind slapping him in the face, but mostly because he was scared of what he had to do. His breathing accelerated, and he could feel his heart clawing at his chest, and every muscle in his body tensed. The tight, shaky grip around the long machete knife in his hand loosened and eventually dropped when he felt a clenching pain in his stomach, and not long after the sound of retching echoed through the island. Kyuhyun heaved on all fours, as the vomit pooled beneath him before it was washed away by the rain. He lazily pulled himself up, and wipedthe corners of his mouth with his forearm. He crouched down to pick up his machete and that’s when he heard the sound of light and rapid footsteps. He frantically scanned his surroundings, eyes panning left and right as he tried to pinpoint in which direction the sound was coming from. When the sound of the footsteps suddenly stopped, a familiar figure came into view. Siwon stood before him, back turned to him. He was kneeling, hands on his knees; catching his breath. Kyuhyun froze. Unable to think. Unable to move. Until that moment came. He had an epiphany. It was the kind of moment where everything in his mind clicked and he knew exactly what he had to do.

He sneaked up from behind Siwon and carefully placed the edge of his machete on Siwon’s nape, as it slightly dug into it without drawing any blood. Kyuhyun couldn’t quiet down his sniffles, he allowed his tears to flow as his feet nervously shifted on the ground. He could see Siwon’s back muscles tense up through his soaked up shirt tightly hugging his body when the sharp blade made direct contact with his skin, he knew Siwon was just as scared as he was, but he also knew Siwon. He was a selfless man. He was a martyr. He’s the type of person that would sacrifice himself in order to save the ones he loves, but Kyuhyun knew Siwon didn’t love him anymore. This time he was sure of it and he had only himself to blame.

“Do it.” Siwon finally uttered as one hot tear drizzled down his cold cheek.

“W-What?” Kyuhyun gulped as he took two steps backwards; withdrawing his knife.

Siwon slowly got up and turned to face him. He started walking towards Kyuhyun as he pushed his wet hair back with his fingers. Once he was close enough he grabbed Kyuhyun’s hand holding the weapon and placed it in front himself, the blade pointing to where his heart resided.

“Don’t get cold feet now, Kyu. Isn’t this why you brought me here? You wanted to kill me, no? Then fucking man up and do it.” Siwon yelled as he started to press his own body against the sharp tool making it dig a little deeper.

“No. Stop it.” Kyuhyun dropped his machete and took two more steps backwards until he was forced to stop by a tree. 

“Pick it up.” Siwon demanded.

“I’m not going to kill you.”

“Pick it up or I will.” Siwon threatened, and Kyuhyun just shook his head no in response.

“Okay then tell me this, is he the reason you want me dead? Huh? Tell me it isn’t true, that you wouldn’t foolishly and recklessly suggest having me killed because of a promise you made to some random fucking lunatic, tell me that it isn’t true and maybe I won’t kill you with my bare fucking hands, Cho Kyuhyun.” Siwon looked at Kyuhyun with dark eyes as the sky lit up in brilliant light and thunder rumbled throughout the island, and Kyuhyun felt nothing but raw fear running through his veins.

“What do you want me to say? That I loved him? Because yes I did. He was good to me, Siwon, and I wanted to repay him. I wanted to help him.” Kyuhyun lied hoping Siwon would buy it.

“By having me killed?” Siwon was stunned.

“I was mad at you.” Kyuhyun tried to justify, he knew it would anger Siwon. At this point, he was deliberately saying things to provoke him.

“Kyuhyun, if you’re mad, you get drunk, you get high, you go fuck around, I don’t know, break things. You don’t blow off steam by tricking your boyfriend into going to an island to have him murdered by a bunch of uncivilized psychopaths. You don’t do that.” Siwon shouted. Despite the heavy rain, the sound of the thick raindrops falling viciously on hard surfaces, and the deafening sound of thunder, Kyuhyun could still hear Siwon’s voice clearly.

“We’re all sinners before God. Isn’t that what you always say? Your sins are no better than my sins. It was you. It was your greed, it was your overachieving self that got us into this.” Kyuhyun accused. He knew how to push Siwon’s buttons and placing the blame on him for things that he had already apologized for, he knew that would rile him up.

“No, no, no. You’re not about to turn the tables on me.” Siwon shook his head.

“And why not? You’re just as guilty as I am.” Said Kyuhyun.

“Are you listening to yourself? The mistakes I’ve made and the sins I’ve committed didn’t cause one of us to be on the verge of losing their lives right now.” Siwon was astonished. He couldn’t believe what was coming out of Kyuhyun’s mouth. He wasn’t waiting for Kyuhyun to apologize because he already did but this wasn’t something that Siwon could just shrug off and forgive Kyuhyun for just because Kyuhyun was feeling sorry, but that was the thing that puzzled him, Kyuhyun wasn’t sorry. He was unapologetic. Like it wasn’t his fault they were in this mess. Like Siwon should’ve have known he had this coming.

“You did this to yourself, Siwon.” Kyuhyun said calmly which sent Siwon over the edge. 

“And you did this to yourself.” Siwon copied before he curled his hand into a fist as he swung a punch at Kyuhyun’s face, knocking him over. Siwon straddled Kyuhyun and proceeded to he hit him again and again until Kyuhyun tasted blood. Kyuhyun wasn’t trying to fight back, nor was he trying to block any of Siwon’s punches. Siwon grabbed him by the hair, his fingers digging into Kyuhyun’s scalp as he lifted him and slammed him back into the tree until he was dangling on the tip of his toes. Siwon punched again, this time aiming at Kyuhyun’s ribs; making him wince in pain. Siwon let go of Kyuhyun’s hair and wrapped both his hands around Kyuhyun’s throat; choking him. The more Kyuhyun struggled, the tighter Siwon’s hands would squeeze.

“P...ple..please.” Kyuhyun struggled to say. The darkness in Siwon’s eyes, it was something that he had never seen before. Was it pure hatred reflected in his eyes? Feelings of sheer betrayal? He was too focused. Too concentrated on snapping Kyuhyun’s neck.

“K...kill me! Please.” Kyuhyun begged, and just as he did, Siwon seemed to have come to his senses, as he immediately realized what he was about to do.

“No. No.” He shook his head as if to say “No, that’s not you. You don’t kill people.”

“Please, kill me.” Kyuhyun who had collapsed on the ground, was still begging. Siwon looked at Kyuhyun, all bruised up and bloody. He slowly approached him and extended his arms but hesitated to touch the cuts on Kyuhyun’s face.

“I’m sorry,” He apologized.

“Kill me.” Kyuhyun grabbed Siwon by the collar, urging him to end his life.

“Stop! Just stop saying that.” Siwon got up and started pacing back and forth, “Let me think, ju...just let me think.” He thought about this about a hundred times and each time he was unable to think of a way for the two of them to make it out alive. He knew there was no way out, but he just couldn’t accept it.

“Listen to me,” Kyuhyun barely pulled himself up, “You have to get yourself out of here,” said Kyuhyun but his words fell on deaf ears as Siwon was still pacing around, muttering to himself, “Hey!” Kyuhyun raised his voice to snap Siwon out of his thoughts. There was no point in this. Kyuhyun didn’t want to waste time anymore. He just wanted Siwon to end it all and get it over with, “It’s okay, alright? It’s okay. Just....make it quick, okay?” Kyuhyun’s voice hitched and trembled, as he offered Siwon his long knife.

“I’m not gonna do it.” Siwon slapped Kyuhyun’s hand away.

“I’m sure you’ve killed me in your head more than once. Now you get to actually do it, you know it’s what I deserve.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Kyu. I’m not doing it.” Siwon refused once again.

“Then I’ll do it for you.” Kyuhyun turned the machete in his hand until it was staring at his abdominal area.

“W-What are you doing?” Siwon’s eyes widened at what he thought Kyuhyun was going to do.

“Making this easier for you.”

“Put the knife down, Kyu.” Siwon tried to sound calm, even though this is the most scared he has ever been his entire existence. He proceeded to take small and slow steps to get to Kyuhyun, to stop him from driving that knife into his stomach.

“Don’t come any closer.” Kyuhyun warned.

“Kyuhyun-ah...” Siwon’s voice trailed off, his eyes felt hot as tears started to stream down his face. He felt very frustrated. His hands were tied. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted to reassure Kyuhyun that everything was going to be okay, that he was going to do everything he can to keep him safe and get the both of them out of there. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t because he didn’t know how to. But he knew this wasn’t it. This wasn’t how it was supposed to end. Not here. Not like this.

“I’m not asking for absolution or forgiveness. I deserve everything. Every—every punch, every broken nose, every busted lip, everything that you gave me. I did terrible things to you and for that I deserve to die, part of me already is. I have nothing, Siwon. Whether I make it out of here alive or not, I’ll have nothing, because I won’t have you. Death would hurt a lot less than knowing that I won’t be spending the rest of my life with you. You’re—“ Kyuhyun began to weep, “You’re the first man I’ve ever loved, the only man I’ll ever love, I can say that with confidence now.” He let out a soft chuckle but he was still crying, “I don’t like the person I am without you, but I’m here now. With you. Let me do one good thing for you before I leave.” Siwon shook his head and emitted a barely audible “no.” 

“I love you, Choi Siwon.” Kyuhyun wiped away his tears, “Please don’t forget me.” Kyuhyun raised his machete, keeping it a few inches away from his chest, and with a little force, he drove the sharp edge into his chest but before the knife could get through his skin he felt something else penetrating his skin from the back and going through his heart. He could feel a hot liquid dripping down his chest which prompted him to look down. It was an arrowhead. He recognized it. This was Tano’s arrow. Kyuhyun suddenly felt weak in the knees as his limp body fell into the ground. Everything around him fell silent and he could only hear the sound of his gasps and his wheezed breathing.

“No!” It took Siwon a minute to wrap his head around what happened. He sprinted over to Kyuhyun and was able to catch him in his arms before his lifeless body hit the wet ground.

“Kyuhyun! Kyuhyun! Hey! come here.” Siwon pulled Kyuhyun’s body closer to him, cradling him, “You’re gonna be okay, alright? You’re okay! I got you, I got you.” Siwon rocked him back and forth. 

“Kyuhyun-ah...” Siwon sobbed, desperate to find any remaining flickers of life in his boyfriend’s body, but was met with cold silence, “No, no, no, no.” He used his left hand to cup Kyuhyun’s face to prevent his head from wobbling from side to side, “I love you. Kyuhyunnie, you hear me? I love you, okay? You can’t do this to me.” Siwon said as if telling Kyuhyun he loved him would bring him back to life, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Siwon softly caressed Kyuhyun’s bloody face, as the drops of rain and Siwon’s caress washed it clean.

“Don’t go! Kyuhyunnie. Please. Don’t go!” He buried his face in Kyuhyun’s neck as he whispered words of desperation into his ear, but Kyuhyun was long gone. His life stolen before him.

Tano screamed in the distance. He couldn’t let Kyuhyun do this. He couldn’t let him go out on his own accord. How dare he sacrifice himself. How dare he try to go out heroically. How dare Kyuhyun leave him to fend for himself. Tano acted recklessly but he didn’t regret killing Kyuhyun. He did not care about the rules anymore, and he was now on a mission to end it all. He pulled another arrow, pointed his bow toward Siwon but before he could pull the string back, Alik knocked him out with the back of his long spear.

“Run. Now.” Alik came from behind Siwon startling him. 

“I’m not leaving Kyuhyun here.” Siwon still held Kyuhyun in a warm embrace. He could hear the tribesmen running in their direction. 

“Me. Take care of Kyuhyun. You. Run.” Alik forcibly pulled Siwon away from Kyuhyun and pushed him to run, “Go. Now.”


	13. The Final Chapter

‘Kyuhyun was dead. Kyuhyun was dead’It was all Siwon could think about. His body was moving, but his mind was elsewhere. He was unable to concentrate or focus on why or where he was running off to. He ran in no specific direction, and he did not seem to care. He felt a tightness in his chest and was unable to relax his tensed muscles or stop his tears from falling. His head filled with worries and regret, with sadness, guilt and despair. He felt empty. He had lost his will to live, and if death was to swallow him with its dark wings, he would gladly embrace it, and yet he was still trying to hang on to that little bit of hope of making it out of the island alive. Not for himself, but because he knew it’s what Kyuhyun had died for. He wasn’t going to let Kyuhyun die in vain. He might not have been there anymore, but he wanted to live for Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun, who he had left lying dead in the mud and trusting a stranger to take care of his body. For all he knew, Alik could be putting up a front. He didn’t know why he would do that but he didn’t trust him either. ‘I should go back to him. I should be with him.’ Siwon thought. He wanted to be with Kyuhyun. It was where he wanted to be. He couldn’t understand why he was running still, wasn’t this supposed to be over?

“I have to go back.” He muttered to himself but before he could turn around, he spotted the storage building not too far from where he was standing. Tano had told them that the storage building was where they stored most of their weapons, food, clothes, and maybe even some electronics. Siwon knew he had to go there, he needed to find something that he could use to contact people outside of the island to save himself.

______________________________

Siwon was facing the door of the storage building, he didn’t know what it was but everything suddenly went darker, and the air around him got thicker. The building looked ghastly on the outside, and he knew that something horrid was awaiting him inside. He could sense it. After a few minutes of hesitation, he finally opened the door to the building. He went inside and treaded carefully as he tried to scan the place with his eyes. Everything Tano had said would be here was there but there was more than what meets the eyes, Siwon was sure of it. As he walked around the place, thoroughly inspecting it, he heard a loud thud coming from underneath him. ‘The basement’ and quickly tried to find a way to get there. He was able to easily find the false door leading to the basement because it was badly concealed. The moment he opened the door, he was greeted by the the unbearable stench of something decomposed and rotten. His face contorted as he used his hand to cover his nose and tried to breathe through his mouth. Everything was dark and the one dim lightbulb faintly lighting up the entire basement didn’t help. The more he walked, the clearer the noises he thought he was hallucinating became. It was a woman’s voice. Or was it more than one woman? He couldn’t tell, but he was sure he heard female moans and groans. He remembered the woman in his nightmare. The wailing woman. The realization that what he had heard was real and not at all in his head chilled him to the bone. He followed the noises which led him to a hall that looked a lot like a prison hall with cells on each side. He took more steps forward and was panic-stricken. Several women occupied each cell, and they all seemed to be drugged, he noticed cuts and bruises all over their bodies and when they tried to speak, they slurred and it was impossible for Siwon to make out what they were trying to say. Siwon’s body went stiff and didn’t know what to do, his breathing quickened as well as his pace. Once he got closer to another closed door at the end of the hall he started running towards it. He went inside the room and what he saw made his blood run cold.

“What—“ Siwon’s voice trailed off. The room he stood in looked like an editor’s room. It was filled with multiple screens, each screen showing different parts of the island. The beach, the campsite, the stables, their house, their bedroom. Siwon felt sick to his stomach. They were being watched the entire time. Despite his shaking, he went over to the desk and started looking into the drawers, he saw files, patient files. They were separated into two sections, one section had regular files and the other one had files with receipts stamped on them. He read the receipt on one of the files he was holding that read:

Male #23

Age: 33

Organs: Heart + Liver + Kidney + Cornea

Status: Sold

Siwon started hyperventilating. He knew something shady was going on on the island but he didn’t know to what extent and he certainly wasn’t expecting things to be this inhuman. It was sadistic. Completely and utterly barbaric.

As if Siwon wasn’t already in a petrified state, his breath caught in his throat when he heard a nasally voice from behind him. He knew it too well.

“Ah Siwon,” Dr. Younghee sighed as he entered the room followed by two tribesmen behind him. Siwon was in too much of a shock to react. He just stood there, wide-eyed, and mouth opened.

“Surprised to see me?” Dr. Younghee smirked, as he went over to his desk and proceeded to reorganize it after Siwon had made a mess of things, “You look thirsty, do you need some water?” He offered.

“You son of a bitch...” Siwon clenched his jaw, and Dr. Younghee chuckled in response.

“You’re going about it all wrong, Siwon. Try to enjoy this.” Dr. Younghee said enthusiastically.

“Enjoy this?” Siwon huffed, “Kyuhyun is dead because of you.” Siwon’s lips trembled, his voice heavy and thick with grief.

“Oh no,” Dr. Younghee walked over to the front of his desk and sat on it, “His death was caused by a chain of bad circumstances, a chain that you started and Tano very stupidly ended.” The Doctor tried to guilt Siwon for Kyuhyun’s death but Siwon didn’t waver.

“Why?” Siwon asked in a soft voice that showed his vulnerability.

“Why?” Dr. Younghee repeated, as if he was confused with the question.

“Why are you doing this?” Siwon fumed, his tone of voice shifting.

“Why not?” The Doctor asked back with a twinkling eyes, he moved slightly from his current position and walk until he was standing in front of Siwon, “Do you know why Kyuhyun wanted you to come here?” He asked before he continued, “To save Tano. Pftt. That’s a load of crap that he forced himself to believe so that he would have a reason to get back at you. He was sick of everything, sick of himself. Sick of you. He couldn’t get you out of his mind and that hindered his life. He had to take you out. He wanted to regain control. That’s all there was to it.” Dr. Younghee explained.

“You see, when an individual is threatened by the feeling of inferiority to another, it is easy for them to be driven to take their show of dominance too far, and Kyuhyun felt inferior to you.” Dr. Younghee poked an accusatory finger at Siwon’s chest before he turned around and went back to stand behind his desk, “Do you know why Tano decided to talk Kyuhyun into killing you? He harbored no personal grudge or hatred towards you but to him, your death meant his freedom, and freedom meant he would have control over his own life because he, too, felt inferior,” He paused for a short moment, “To me.” The Doctor revealed, causing Siwon to display a confused face.

“See, Tano’s life belongs to me. It’s mine to do whatever I want with it. He is just as desperate as you are to leave, and a lesser human being like him would exert their power and exercise their control by taking advantage of those weaker than they are and boy was Kyuhyun so weak, he was the easiest to break, but that’s because you had already worn him out.” Dr. Younghee let out a small laugh, making Siwon shift his feet in anger.

“In his own twisted way, Tano loved Kyuhyun, but fear and the instinct to survive trumps over love every time. Every single time. So he used him. He promised to entertain me and I promised to give him to Kyuhyun as a reward if I was satisfied with the hunt. But he lost control of himself and he broke the rules. Another failed attempt.” The Doctor rubbed his head as if he was disappointed, “You think you’re the only one who wants to make it out of here alive but the reality is, no one on this island is here willingly.” The Doctor unveiled.

“When I came to this island, it was deserted. Everything here, I’ve built myself. I established a new civilization. I’ve made the people what they are, I gave them their own language, I provided them with a chance to start anew. To be free of the constraints of society that deadened the natural human instinct. I gave them a life that’s worth living.” Dr. Younghee stated.

“A life worth living? You’re murdering people.” Siwon raged, as he pointed at the receipt stamped on the file he was still holding.

“Murder? No, no, no. That’s not murder,” Dr. Younghee denied, pointing at the same file in Siwon’s hand before he continued, “It’s survival of the fittest. It’s natural selection. When my patients arrive at the island, I offer them a place to sleep, I give them food to consume, I provide them with weapons, I give them a day’s notice to prepare. It’s a fair hunt. Your game was different because it was Tano’s survival game but in my game, I’m always the hunter, and you’re the prey, but we both get a chance to live. If you can outsmart me and manage to survive a three-day hunt, then I declare you a winner and you become a part of my tribe. You live. But if you lose...well...”

“The organ trade?” Siwon started to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

“Well, you know what they say, it’s best to turn your hobby into a source of income.” The Doctor joked. Siwon could see where Tano got his twisted sense of humor from. He talked almost exactly the same as Dr. Younghee, except that Tano always sounded like he was trolling, Dr. Younghee on the other hand, believed every word he uttered and that terrified Siwon. He knew it wasn’t mind games. He knew this was real.

“What about the innocent women? I heard their screams, you’re hurting them too.” Siwon was still haunted by the image of the women locked in the cells.

“Oh come on, I’m not that cruel. I could never hunt a fragile woman, they’re not much of a challenge.” The Doctor shrugged, “They come here with the husbands and I can’t send them back, so I keep them to make sure my men are satisfying their needs.” The Doctor said with a grin spreading across his face.

“You sick bastard.” Siwon insulted and The Doctor let out a long breathy chuckle.

“Do you know how many people die everyday, Siwon? Around 150,000 people. That many. You have nations going against nations, natural disasters prematurely ending the lives of thousands and thousands of people, there are people living in famine and poverty, and yet people still praise whatever God they pray to simply because this is supposedly his creation, but lo and behold a human tries to create their own version of the world, we’re called sick, psychopaths, and murderers, but aren’t we also your God’s creation? If people can accept natural disasters as that, then we should be accepted too.”

“So people are suffering at your hands because you felt inferior to God?” Siwon asked.

“Exactly.” Dr. Younghee snapped his finger, “It’s human nature, Siwon” He emphasized, “It’s the universal human feelings, the feelings of incompleteness, failure, fear, love, jealousy, hatred,” He listed, “What separates humans from animals is their ability to reason, but humans are no better than animals. Humans are no different than animals. We reason, yes, we use logic, but when those universal human feelings get a hold of us, they’re too strong they’ll revert us back into the most basic human form, we’re animalistic in nature and yet we try to suppress it, why? Why should we suppress our natural instincts? Is it wrong to feel and act on our feelings? Be it negative or positive. Is it wrong to eliminate others because they couldn’t adapt to who we are? Because they posed a threat to us? Because they held us back? This life isn’t for everyone, the bigger animal eats the smaller animal, this world isn’t for the weak, only the strong survives and they should be celebrated.” Dr. Younghee nodded to one of the tribesmen blocking the door, “You’re the same, Siwon, you think you’re different than I am, don’t you? But you’re not.” As he said that, the tribesman returned with Tano, who was covered with blood. A sudden dread and a sense of coldness took over Siwon, as rage stirred within him, he wanted nothing more than to ball up his fists and start pummeling him mercilessly, but he looked almost half dead already.

Dr. Younghee positioned a chair in the middle of the room, between him and Siwon, and aggressively sat Tano on it.

“You know, Tano always had a tendency to kill, but he’s weak. He’s a small animal masquerading as a big, strong one. Twenty something years ago, I brought his parents here, I was supposed to hunt his dad but come to find out, his bitch was pregnant,” Dr. Younghee told.

‘The pregnant woman in the scrapbook.’ Siwon remembered. He noticed something weird about Tano’s expressions, like he had been listening to this story for the first time.

“Of course I temporarily spared his dad’s life and I allowed her to have the baby. His father never made it, so I raised him as my own son. I gave him and his mom everything. Life was good. Until she got pregnant again, this time it was mine. Tano hated it, and he never hesitated to express it. He hated that his half brother was going to be mine. You have to understand, I’m like a God to these people, and Tano,” Dr. Younghee started to caress Tano’s hair, “Tano was a good boy who wanted daddy’s full attention and approval. He must’ve been eight or nine, a child, but that didn’t stop him from killing his own mother while his brother was still in her womb.” The Doctor gripped Tano’s hair and yanked his head back, “Do you remember that, Tano?”

“No! No!” Tano’s face was puffy and he couldn’t move it, but Siwon could see tears as they welled up in his eyes. ‘What is going on?’ Siwon couldn’t understand. ‘Was Dr. Younghee lying to Tano? What kind of sick mind game was he playing now?’

“But I wasn’t mad, I loved it. He didn’t like something, and he did something about it. He was being his most authentic self.” The Doctor patted Tano on the head as if to praise him, “But the thing with humans is, they remember, and memories can be a huge downside. Especially bad ones, it makes you wanna get away from things, people, and places. He attempted to leave a few times, to run away, without my permission, so I had to punish him.” Dr. Younghee smiled his creepy smile that always made Siwon uncomfortable.

“He had to be disciplined, he needed someone to take control, and one way to control humans is by messing with their memories. If anyone misbehaves or disobeys me, they go to the chair.” Tano’s breathing quickened at the words being uttered.

“Th—the chair?” Siwon stuttered. Judging by Tano’s reaction, he knew it was something that had left him with some sort of trauma.

“A chair where I conduct Electroconvulsive Therapy to correct their behavior, you’re a science major, Siwon, I’m sure you know what that is. That’s how you control ‘em.” Dr. Younghee stated. Siwon knew exactly what Dr. Younghee was talking about. He was using a cruel method for behavioral correction and torture in order to control the people of the island, by erasing memories, or replacing them with others using electro shocks.

“You’re fucking sick” Siwon hissed, but The Doctor shrugged it off, as he crouched down next to Tano.

“How do you want to kill him?” The Doctor directed the question at Siwon, taking him by surprise.

“W-What?” Siwon asked nervously.

“Tano! You want to kill him, don’t you? How do you wish to do it?” Dr. Younghee asked once more.

“Are you trying to prove a point?” Siwon wasn’t having it anymore, he wasn’t gonna let The Doctor get what he wanted, he wasn’t gonna let him feel like he had won.

“I’m giving you what you want, Siwon.” The Doctor replied.

“I don’t want to kill him.” Siwon asserted. 

“You listen to that, Tano? He wants you to suffer.” A loud chuckle emitted from Dr. Younghee.

“Kill—“ Tano tried to say before he felt a hand covering his mouth.

“Don’t say a word.” The Doctor warned before he got up from his crouching position and walked towards Siwon.

“You see Siwon, you think killing and death is the most heinous act a human can commit but that’s far from the truth. Death is easy. It’s quick and painless but living, living with regret, knowing you don’t deserve to live, knowing that the people you love will no longer be around you because of you, that you can’t even remember the good memories you had with them. You see that, that is the worst kind of suffering.” Dr. Younghee motioned for his tribesmen to come near.

“Get him to the chair and erase everything. Except that one memory of him killing the only person he ever truly cared about.” The Doctor ordered.

“No! Please! No!” Tano begged.

“Every good memory you had, I’m going to make you forget.” The Doctor whispered before the tribesmen forcibly grabbed Tano as he started kicking and screaming, trying to get away, “Please don’t! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’ll be good. I’ll be good. No!” Tano screamed as he got escorted out of the room. Siwon didn’t notice that he had been crying. Not because he cared about what was gonna happen to Tano, but because it seemed all the more impossible for him to survive this. 

“You think you’re above us, don’t you, Siwon. There’ll come a day where you’ll be backed into a corner, and you’re gonna have to revert back into a primitive state of mind. It’s in all of us. You can’t escape it. You’ll see—“ Dr. Younghee was interrupted by white noise coming from the screens.

‘Someone disabled the cameras.’ Siwon thought. ‘Alik.’

Dr. Younghee turned around in confusion and Siwon took the opportunity of the distraction to grab the nearest pen on the desk, and as soon as The Doctor turned back to face him, Siwon violently stabbed him in the eye and immediately fled the room, he could hear Dr. Younghee yelling, “Yes! That’s more like it, Siwon.” with a maniacal laugh.

Siwon was able to get out of the storage building without running into any of the tribesmen, he felt someone yank him by the arm which made him reflexively swing a punch but the person ducked.

“A-Alik.” Siwon beamed.

“Go to beach. Hurry.” Alik demanded

“What about Kyuhyun...?” Siwon hesitated.

“There is boat. You must leave. I come find you after one day. Go!” Alik said with more bass in his voice. He made sure to destroy all the boats on the island, only leaving one for Siwon, and the other one for himself. Alik watched Siwon as he sprinted off. Out of everyone on the island, Alik had spent the most time getting tortured on that chair. The Doctor kept erasing his memories, and always left him with one, The Doctor killing Tano. His real son, Tano. Not the one The Doctor tired to manipulate him into thinking was his real son, but he never knew who the boy in his memory was, until Kyuhyun helped him figure it out. “I will help Siwon, Kyuhyun.” Alik muttered under his breath. He had made a promise to Kyuhyun, when they had gone hunting, Kyuhyun asked him to save Siwon, he knew he wasn’t gonna make it but he needed to know Siwon had someone on his side. That’s why Alik was there, when he told Siwon to go search Tano’s tent, it was his plan to save him all along.

————————————————

Siwon collapsed on the beach as he tried to catch his breath. The rain had stopped, which he was thankful for because he wasn’t experienced with boats, and a rainstorm was the last thing he needed. He quickly forgot about the pain in his swaying legs when his eyes landed on the boat, and he started running towards it. He suddenly slowed down his pace when he spotted a familiar body wrapped in a white cloth, and his eyes started to well up. He slowly approached the boat and started to weep. He didn’t have any moment to grieve and the sight of Kyuhyun again brought up all the emotions he was trying to suppress. Siwon sniffled when he heard the sound of neighing and hooves galloping. He turned around to see Alik mounting a horse with a spear in his hand, yielding it at everyone surrounding him, as men fell dead to the ground. He looked at Siwon, and he yelled from afar, “Go! Now!”

Siwon hurriedly jumped up on the boat, slightly rocking it. He picked up the two paddles and started moving. The last thing he saw before everyone started looking like dots to him, was Dr. Younghee mounting another horse, as he stared at Siwon, with that creepy smile of his still spreading across his face.

————————————————

FOUR DAYS LATER

Siwon sat crunched up as he brought his knees closer to his face. His chapped lips were trembling, his chin was quivering, his eyes felt hot, and his body shivered. He couldn’t feel his fingers or his toes. He couldn’t feel anything. It’s been four days since he had left the island, but Alik was nowhere to be found. No one came for him. ‘They must’ve killed him.’ Siwon knew Alik wasn’t going to come. He was crazy to think that was even possible. He saw how it was like, he fought those tribesmen alone, one man in his seventies against God knows how many big and healthy men. ‘He’s dead.’ Siwon was sure of it. Alik left him nothing on the boat, a bag that had one bottle of water, a snack, a rope, and a life jacket. Siwon would sleep next to Kyuhyun during the day but nights were the worst, at night, he heard his voice, over and over again. 

‘You’re gonna have to revert back into a primitive state of mind.’

‘We’re animalistic in nature, the bigger animal eats the smaller animal.’

‘You can’t escape it.’

“Stop!” Siwon felt his sanity slipping away from him. He wanted the voices to stop. He needed food. He needed water, or else he was going to die. He got up and went over to Kyuhyun, he removed the white wrapping exposing his body. It’s been four days, how could his dead body still be in good condition. There was barely any signs of decomposition. Siwon sat in front of Kyuhyun, just looking at him.

“You look beautiful.” He brushed Kyuhyun’s fringe away from his face, “I should’ve said it sooner.” Siwon’s voice was heavy with regret, he knew how much Kyuhyun wanted to hear it. He yearned for it. He knew that. Kyuhyun died in his arms not knowing whether Siwon loved him or not, and that made Siwon ache.

“I’m—“ Siwon words caught in his throat as tears started to roll down his cheek, “I’m scared, Kyu, I don’t—“ Siwon’s voice hitched, “I don’t...think I’m...going to make it,” It was cold, and Siwon couldn’t complete sentences because his breath came in short gasps, “I have no...food or...w-water...” He whimpered, “I-I wish,” Siwon started to sob, “I wish...you were here...with me...” He gently grabbed Kyuhyun’s face in his hands, “Come...back...to me...please.” He rubbed Kyuhyun’s cheeks in circular motion, then he lightly started pinching them, his stomach grumbled, and the voice in his head came back,

‘We’re animalistic in nature.’

‘You’re gonna have to revert back into a primitive state of mind.’

‘The bigger animal eats the smaller animal.’

‘Fear and the instinct to survive trumps over love every time. Every single time.’

“No!” Siwon quickly got himself away from Kyuhyun and started slapping himself in the face repeatedly, “Stop it! Stop it.”

The boat rocked abruptly causing Siwon’s bag to drop into the floor, revealing the rope inside of it.

Siwon crouched down next to Kyuhyun again, this time removing the cloth wrapping around him completely.

“I can’t imagine my life without you either.” Siwon confessed, “You’re the first man I’ve ever loved, you know that.” Siwon echoed Kyuhyun’s words, “and now I can say it with confidence, that you’ll always be the only man I’ve ever loved. I’m your first and your last, as you are mine.” Siwon wept, as he brought the rope and tied it around his waist, then copied the same movement to tied the other end around Kyuhyun’s. Siwon knew what was happening to him. Maybe The Doctor wasn’t entirely wrong but he was wrong about one thing, the beautiful thing about humans, is that they are able to make choices. Sound choices. You choose to either love or hate. Seek revenge or forgive. Live like an animal or die as a human. Humans are born into certain circumstances that shape who they are, but that’s not the final form, it’s the choices that they make that build and mold them into the good people they aspire to be. There is always a choice.

‘Fear and the instinct to survive trumps over love every time. Every single time.’

‘You’re gonna have to revert back into the primitive state of mind.’

“I love you, Cho Kyuhyun.” Siwon lied on top of Kyuhyun, hugging him, as he started to rock the boat back and forth until both of them went over. Kyuhyun’s lifeless body sank faster than Siwon’s, pulling Siwon down with him to sink deeper.

‘They always say your life flashes before your eyes when you’re on the brink of death. Ah, so this is what it’s like.’ Siwon blinked slowly with a smile spreading across his face, ‘Hello, Kyuhyun.’

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading. I hope you enjoyed the story just as much as I did writing it :) More coming soon!


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